#I've had in my mind that exercise is a thing that needs to be done early in the morning when you first wake up

[womanofwords]

Hay, um, I don't know if you're taking story requests right now or if this is how it's supposed to be done, but I've had this one reader x batfam thing stuck in my head for a while and I figured I'd at least see if I could get your thoughts on it.

So y/n runs away after the yandere starts getting out of hand. Maybe it starts similar to Cold Hearts with y/n getting hurt. Eventually, y/n runs into Bane while trying to get out of Gotham. He hears her story and helps her get out using his private boat or something. The family sees her getting while searching for her in costume.

Bane takes y/n to some island compound and gives her a room to stay in while he decides what to do with her. Eventually, he takes her on as an apprentice, and they start to bond, three or so months in, she accidentally calls him dad and then again and again, and soon enough, she's unironically calling Bane things like papa and daddy and he's calling her his own little pet name( in my head I imagine it "little dumbbell " but you do whatever). They, of course, create a costume for her to where when she's helping Bane with his stuff, I imagine it being various shades of blue with a mask reminiscent of her papa's.

One day, the batfam finds the compound and crashes in demanding to know where y/n is. Bane is surprised to see them but takes the opportunity to introduce his new partner

"Well, Batman, I don't think she'd want to go home even if you could take her. But how we take the time for you to meet my new apprentice"

Y/n leaps onto the scene in costume, now a tower of muscle thanks to Daddy's exercise regiment. The fam doesn't recognize her thanks to the costume and new muscles.

"Where is y/n Whane??!!!" Batsie screams

"Dead," y/n replies, "killed herself, something about how even if her family cared enough to want her back, they'd never get to her."

The bats are horrified by this and leave after a large brawl ensues.

They find out the truth eventually and start trying to get her back to no evail.

I don't have much more than that, but I still feel it was worth presenting to you.

I honestly think you read my mind, because I've been having a similar idea for a while now. Bane would make a great parent, if the standard for 'great parent' was being slightly more attentive than Bruce Wayne and remembering things other than their name and maybe their school. Since none of the Batfam really look at Reader (that plus the bulking up), that would go some way to explaining why they don't recognise her when she shows up with a new identity.

Bonus point for the Batfam realising that after searching Gotham for a dead body matching your description and not finding one because you're not dead (and they couldn't describe you anyway), you never actually died and was in front of them the whole time, as Bane's 'daughter'.

"How did you not notice her leaving to go and meet me, Batman?" Bane taunted. "If she's really so unfortunate as to be your biological daughter."

"Alfred handled most things," Bruce admitted. "We just want Y/N to understand that she has nothing to fear from us."

"But I always do!" you insisted. "Your son stabbed me with a serrated katana and you told me to consider his feelings. Hell no. Not taking my chances."

"Y/N, get away from that monster!" Damian demanded. Typical Damian, expecting things to go his way.

"Leave my daddy alone!" you yelled. "You have your dad and I have mine! Now go away!"

"But Y/N, I'm your daddy," Bruce said. "I'm the daddy to both of you."

"No, you're not! Don't be disgusting! Daddies play with their kids and know things about them! You're not my daddy!"

"Good girl, Y/N," Bane said, hugging you proudly. Bruce's stomach turned. "Let's leave this flock of bats in their belfry. You need to meet your protein goals, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," you said, relaxing into Bane's touch as he led you away.

"My sister doesn't love me," Damian whimpered. "And she thinks I'm not her brother."

"I should kill Bane just for looking at Y/N," Jason growled.

"I'll help you get away with it," Dick said.

"We'll need a new tactic." Bruce's voice cut through the plotting. "Something to aid Y/N in realising that we love her."

"She used to always want to read my books. I'll gift some to her," Jason suggested.

"Y/N could totally use a girls' day," Stephanie said. "She can't be left alone with just Bane. She needs girls around her."

"We can discuss the details later," Bruce said. "Let's go home."

The bats retreated to their belfry, which was much colder than they would have liked.

[rileyglas]

Hello! Can I request Alastor x Fem!Trust Issues!Reader? I've seen quite a few fanfictions and requests where Readers were wary of Alastor, but strangely quickly began to trust him. Therefore, it seemed to me that it would be funny to see a Reader who is so distrustful of people in principle that with Alastor’s reputation this distrust reaches the point of absurdity. And when Alastor really sincerely wants to gain the Reader's trust (romantically or platonically, it doesn't matter), then it becomes a really difficult task. For example, he offers help with some little thing and the Reader immediately “what do you want from me.” Or when Alastor brings the Reader tea/coffee, she waits for him to drink first (she would probably insist that he pour it from the same ?teapot?). The other residents of the Hotel find this hilarious.

This is such a fun prompt, especially under the assumption Alastor loves nothing more than a good chase during a hunt. 😉

Like Glass (Alastor x Fem!TrustIssues!Reader)

Four months. That’s how long it took for you to finally take Charlie up on her offer of the possibility of redemption. The chance to get to Heaven seemed like a pipe dream but after a few very long talks and persuasions, you now held a key to your own room in the hotel. 

You try to keep to yourself and most seem to respect that. You’re left alone unless something is needed for one of Charlie’s exercises. You even specifically requested that Nifty didn’t bother coming to your room to clean. The less people in your space the better. 

Charlie has such a big heart but that leads to her choosing to trust even the most despicable characters. She has even trusted and allowed the Radio Demon to live under the same roof. You’ve heard all the stories, all the theories of why he was really there under the ruse of “helping” her. You didn’t buy it one bit. 

Just the other day you were trying to hang some banners the crew had made during an activity. Your ladder was rickety but unfortunately it was the only way to reach the beams. Pained grunts filled the room from you trying to stand on your tiptoes while maintaining some sense of balance. “Allow me to help, dear. Would hate to see you fall.” A staticky voice called from below you. “No thank you - I….am almost…done - shit!” the ladder shifted and almost threw you off. Alastor stabilized it with ease. “See, it is a good thing I’m here!” he yelled smugly. At this point you would rather fall than allow him to hold your life in his hands. “You’re a busy man Alastor. Hey Husk? Mind helping -”

“Nope, looks like Al has it covered.” he teased from behind the bar, relishing in your uneasy tone. You shot daggers, both angry and begging for the cat to just help you instead of Alastor. You made the last tie in the banner and swiftly came down to more solid ground. “Thanks I guess. I had it though.” you said through gritted teeth, avoiding making eye contact and rushing out of the room. Had you looked back you would have seen Husk laughing at how irate Alastor suddenly became.

Now tonight, Nifty was kind enough to serve everyone one of her more popular dinners. It was a simple dish yet as usual, you waited for everyone to nearly clear their plates before digging into it yourself. You might have been starving but you could never be too careful. We are all in Hell for a reason. Could anyone be truly trusted?

“My dear, dig in! Before it gets cold!” Alastor’s voice chirped from across the table. You glare at the toothy grinned demon, “I just like to ensure everyone is enjoying before digging in myself. Appreciate the concern though.” You try to seem pleasant but your voice always seems to drip with disdain when speaking to him, “Why are you so worried? Did you help in preparing the meal?” 

He chuckles, “I try to keep out of the kitchen when Nifty cooks but she did require a few extra hands -” You involuntarily choke and spit out the bite you had just taken. Angel and Husk also choke though it’s to hold back laughter. You sneer at their amusement. Alastor’s face twists with confusion, “Is everything alright?” “Oh uhm I’m suddenly not that hungry. Must be coming down with something. Excuse me.” You excuse yourself from the table and make your way to the library. Reading was always something that could busy your mind and right now you needed a distraction from both your growling stomach and Alastor’s attempt to help once again. He’d been making an uncomfortable effort to help you in any way he could and in your mind, that could only mean he wanted something from you.

Not many residents used the hotel library which was great for you. But of course, there was always someone who enjoyed breaking your solitude. The sound of footsteps pulls your eyes off your current page, “What do I owe the visit?” you snap over your book. 

Alastor strides over with a serving tray carrying a tea set. “Well I saw just how horrible you looked at dinner and figured some peppermint tea might help whatever ailment you’re suffering from.” He sets the tray on the table in front of you but you don’t move a muscle. “Since when do you care if someone isn’t feeling well?” you cock an eyebrow at him. 

He hums as he pours two cups of tea, taking one for himself and offering you the other, “What? Can I not offer a fellow resident a nice cup of tea?” “Nope. What do you want?” you continue to stare at the cup in his hand. His eye twitches, trying to hold back his annoyance, “Why do you insist on rejecting any of my pleasantries?”

You slam your book closed, “You’re wondering why I do not want help of any sort from one of Hell’s most vile Overlords?” He sets down your cup and sits across from you. You didn’t want company but it's too late now. “Ms. Morningstar trusts me with ensuring the safety of this hotel yet you cannot even take a cup of tea you’ve watched me both pour and drink myself. Other than what stories you’ve heard, what have I done to you to make you so cold towards me?” His eyes burn into you, eager for an answer. Although with his tone, you could only assume he knew exactly why you didn’t trust him. 

You sigh as you pick up the cup he offered. You swirl it in an attempt to examine if it looks or smells odd before hesitantly taking a small sip for yourself. “Have you ever been betrayed Alastor? By a friend? By someone you loved? Because I have. It’s how I died and how I ended up here.” 

His smile falters slightly, corners curving down before returning to their usual wide grin, “Trust is like glass, once broken it isn’t easy to fix nor will ever be the same. I admire how guarded you try to be.”

You scoff, “If it is so admirable then why bother trying so hard to earn my trust? Unless it just kills your ego that someone can see you for who you truly are -” The cup he holds suddenly shatters under his tightening grip, “Watch your tone, dear. I’ve been nothing but amicable with you. I expect the same in return.” his voice drops with static filling the air. You can’t help but smirk at how quickly you’ve managed to get under his skin. “Ooooh so it is an ego thing? Duly noted.” you bite and finish off your cup. As you stand you see Alastor’s eyes shift to black dials, his mind clearly spiraling. On your way to the door you brush a teasing hand across his shoulder, “Tea was wonderful by the way. I’m feeling better already!” Your coy laughter echoes through the library as you leave but the sounds of Alastor’s demon form drown it out. He snarls over his shoulder to you, “Don’t act so smug darling. I’ll get you to trust me one day.”

“Good luck!” You chirp walking out the door, unaware of the challenge you just put into place for the Radio Demon.  He was going to have you one way or another. It was only a matter of time and patience, two things he had plenty of when it came to getting what he wanted. You.

[starlightwoofwoof]

um teehee i got a little too silly and wanted to try to figure out which of the Miraculouses could go to each Toon??? so i listed them all down and started looking for patterns and stuff

(by the way, i'm the anon that suggested Silver Fox for Rodger. hi again)

now, there's 29 Toons in total as of v0.6.3, so not everybody is going to get one, obviously. i've decided that i'm going to go ahead and exclude the dogs as well as put the Christmas Toons on the sidelines... idk might change that but i really just wanted it to be the primary roster

i also don't have all of them done. lol. it's certainly a thought exercise

SO HERE'S THE ONES I DID HAVE FULL IDEAS FOR. THAT ALREADY HAVE NOT BEEN COME UP WITH. AS FAR AS I AM AWARE.

- I don't know if you're a Shellevision shipper or not, but that really doesn't matter because either way, Vee just seems so good for the Cat Miraculous. I MEAN. she's green and black and can even already have a tail depending on how you interpret her microphone attachment

- Astro's blanket is cool and blue so why not give him the Peacock Miraculous? he can really be making dreams come to life with the Amoks and Sentimonsters.

- Sprout should get the Turtle Miraculous specifically because its trait is Protection. and he's Overprotective. yes that is my only reason.

(i wanted all the Mains to get one of the Cool Top Level jewels hehe)

- Teagan looks like she'd be a really good fit for the Bee Miraculous, i mean, she's classy and fancy and already has a feather boa. Bees are fuzzy. and honey tea is yummy :)

- I saw you already had a doodle for Mouse Miraculous wielder Toodles, and even though she is extremely young to be using one, her superhero name needs to be Dupliceight. i don't make the rules that's just how it has to be

- Scraps and Goob should get the Tiger and Dog Miraculouses respectively because the other cat one has already been taken and the Dog Miraculous literally represents Adoration. doesn't that fit Goobert Gooberson, Lover of Hugs so well???? also he chases his nonexistent tail in his dreams according to the new dialogue between him and Astro

- Yatta should get the Monkey Miraculous because it is Chaos and she is Chaos. its quality is literally Derision, and have you seen Xuppu? they would get along so well

other note i had:

i like how Glisten, using the Snake Miraculous, is called Ouroboros, because it both represents infinity– perhaps how mirrors facing each other reflect on themselves forever, or even could symbolize the sort of loop that is perfectionism– as well as, somewhat more importantly, wholeness.

Wholeness can be defined as soundness, health, or well-being in body, mind, or spirit; the quality of being or feeling complete and not divided or damaged.

Glisten feels incomplete and greatly dissatisfied with himself for not meeting his own (unreasonably high) standards, and after he's Akumatized, has this almost quite literal division in his mind of Polished Perfectionist haunting him (in a way that is painfully accurate to actual internal perfectionism).

Wholeness is, in a way, a counter to perfectionism: it is achieved through acceptance of limitations, and by doing that, quite paradoxically, those limitations can then be transcended.

By wielding the Snake Miraculous, Glisten is being helped on his way towards recovering from being Polished Perfectionist... by literally being given a Second Chance :)

(i'm looking way too hard into this bro)

omg

you know what- I love all of this actually

here- I drew them heheheh

okay where do I start uh- I’d say I’m more of a FossilCleaning kinda person but I definitely agree with the whole Vee = Cat thing

……. also I know I named Peacock! Astro after a completely different kind of bird but loooooook I tried being creative here- 🥲

I guess I don’t really have much to say about Turtle! Sprout and Bee! Teagan other than I agree- but I tried to make Honey’s skirt look like a flower cause bees like flowers :] (also this is my first time drawing Teagan!! YIPPEE)

I didn’t draw Mouse! Toodles, cause y’know, I drew her before but omg that name is genius I’m stealing it /silly

I think Tiger! Scraps is really cute heh- and Goob has his tail now!! (he’s gonna chase it around as soon as they’re done fighting whoever they’re fighting lol)

I was also kinda just- not sure what to do with Yatta, but I drew her with Xuppu anyway lol

okie soooo about Glisten

I honestly really like the whole symbolism that comes with him becoming a hero, I feel like I don’t think about things in my AU that much, but yeah- (you should thank whoever gave me the whole Snake! Glisten idea though!!)

heheh that whole Second Chance connection always makes me smile every time I think about it :] 💙✨

uh I don’t really know what to put for this part so uhhhhhh here, have Perfect as a yippee creature (he’s constantly stuck in my head plz help-)

oh yeah if you guys have any rambles like this you wanna say about my AU, plz tell me!! I love hearing silly rambles about my AU :3

[solacescastleglow]

Getting Out of Executive Dysfunction

Figure out what the actual problem is

Usually, for me, the issue is friction. Something's in the way, or I don't know how to proceed, so I sit there buffering without even realising what the actual problem is, just that I can't do it. This is how I get out of it:

1. What would this task look like if [it were easy/I had to do this in (x amount of time that's way shorter than normal)/I didn't care about the outcome]?

I got this from Struthless, but it does work. The concept is that often we overcomplicate things in our minds, so take a step back. What are the core things that absolutely need to get done? How can those things be done without faffing about with the details?

2. How would I explain this to a robot?

This alone can sometimes be enough. Write down in excruciating detail exactly what needs to be done. I'm talking 'Gather together homework, pencil case, and calculator. Sit down at dining table. Pick up pencil.' type specific. To save time, I have a step-by-step guide with pictures for everything I do often (showering, studying, etc.) and just reference that instead.

3. Where am I getting stuck?

Now, go through your list. Which bit of it is the problem? Is it that you can't write the whole essay, or are you struggling with the topic sentence? Skip that, and move on. If it's something that needs to be done in order to do the task, figure out why. Only now can you solve the problem, because you know what it is.

4. The dopamine sink issue

If the problem is just that it's boring or understimulating, look up dopamine menus and pick something from the 'sides' section. These are things that help lift your dopamine enough to get you to actually do it. Usually, it's things like media or other sensory input.

Systems

Now that you know what's wrong, you can start putting systems in place to solve them. You might think I'm talking about behavioural systems, but you can actually hack this with your environment. Get creative, and don't think about what's 'normal' or what you 'should' be able to do. As long as it works, it's not stupid. A couple of things to get you started:

If you want to do thing x over thing y, make thing y impossible without first coming across a reminder for thing x. For example, I wanted to make sure I exercised before using screens, so I started charging my devices under my yoga mat.

Habit stacking, if you have good habits that are second nature to you. I personally don't have those, so I can't really do that, but I've heard they're helpful.

Simple swaps that meet the same need, but have extra benefits. I'm looking into making my morning chai latte higher in protein, for example.

Automation can be really helpful, too.

[arielleslipgloss]

Hi! I'm struggling to get over a guy I've had a crush on for the past three years. I want to move on, but I think I’m hesitant because I feel comfortable with him. I’ve liked him ever since I found out he liked me, but I’ve also heard that he has done some terrible things in the past. I’m hoping he has changed, but either way, I just need advice on how to move on.

Ahh hii doll!!! I totally get how you’re feeling because I was actually in a very veryyy similar situation a few years ago. Thankfully I remember a few things that helped me get over him. So, you’ve asked the right person 💗

My Honest Advice On Moving On

Now before, I start I want to give a little reminder that everyone’s way of moving on is different. These are just a few small things that helped me.

1. Journal Your Thoughts/Feelings!! I know journaling might not sound ideal to everyone. But it really helps. In the start of your journey, you may be grieving. So, journal and let out as much as you can. Whether you’re feeling confused, frustrated, upset, angry, in denial, etc. Let it out.

2. Understand It Takes Time!! You can’t force yourself to move on only in a few months. Moving on takes time. I kinda wish someone had told me that when I was first trying to move on. It probably wouldn’t have left me so mad at myself for not being able to move on fast enough. So take your time to process everything. And understand that you can’t force/rush moving on. It takes time.

3. Distance!! If you really want to move on you’re gonna have to distance yourself from him. “Out of sight, out of mind.” And if you’re like how I use to be, please don’t stalk his socials. It’s best to cut off any contact you have with him. That way you’ll be able to get over him much easier.

4. Self Care!! Of course I had to include self care to the list. For me, I genuinely started my self care/love journey when I was trying to move on. And I don’t regret it one bit. Whenever I would be overthinking about the, I was able to do self care to ease my mind. Watching my comfort movie(s) while putting on a face mask was so helpful when it came to moving on. So overall, during this time definitely prioritize yourself as much as possible. And know that your feelings as valid. 

5. Prioritize Yourself!! I did just mention this, but I wanna add on to the topic. By listing some things to help you focus on yourself. Like focusing on your hobbies, make new hobbies, invest in things that help you in the future, make goals, work towards your dreams, exercise, and more. There’s so many ways to prioritize yourself. Just start taking action!!

I really hope this helped and to everyone trying to move on, you can do this!!

“I have a career, I worked so hard for it.” - Mischa Barton

Remember your feelings are valid and to stay pretty!! 💗

Xoxo, Arielleslipgloss 💋🎀

[ficjoelispunk]

TIPSY’S GIRL

"Say yes to heaven,

Say yes to me.

I've got my eye on you."

Summary: Sometimes everything you want is right under your nose. All you need is a little push.

Word count: 7.4k

Warnings: just a love story, happy without anguish, thank God.

Oneshot

A/N: As everyone is already tired of reading in my notes, this is another translated Oneshot. I hope I don’t disappoint so much with English. Please don’t give up on me.🙏

-

"Good night, Joel"

You said as you passed by for the thousandth time, a damp cloth through the counter.

"Good night"

It was visibly noticeable that only his carcass was present there. Deep and tired eyes, hair with curls slightly - perfectly - messy.

"You look tired, a lot of movement outside?" You asked with a gentle smile on your lips.

Joel leaned over the - now, clean - counter.

"Yeah…" he hummed, "with the winter many hordes of them move in search of warmer places"

You were pouring an shot of whiskey into the glass. You didn't need to ask, Joel always came to Tipsy after long patrols, sat in the same place since you remember, and drank exactly the same thing, every time.

"Smart Creatures..."

He smiled with your comment.

"Since I arrived in Jackson, I've never left these walls again" you handed the glass to him "we used to do walks, picnics, hiking, all the fucking weekend..." your eyes were stuck in the wood of the counter, several images taking over your mind, like flashbacks, "I miss nature" you snapped your tongue "well, I'll let you rest" your hands patted the counter "enjoy" you smiled.

Joel raised the glass towards him.

"Thanks"

***

Tiredness took over Joel's old and worn-out body. It had been three long days of patrol. Sleeping outside was becoming a big nightmare for the back. He just wanted to get home, take a long shower and rest.

He just needed a drink first. It was what he repeated to himself, as if, the fact of repeating this to himself sometimes enough, was capable of deceiving his own brain.

The truth is, he started attending Tipsy more for a single reason. You.

A woman with such a beautiful smile, that if the light of the world ran out, your smile could certainly illuminate the planet without a shadow of a doubt. Your lips filled the contour of your smile so perfectly. Your soft skin. The curves of your body. You are so beautiful. Kind. Polite.

Every time he’s close to you, his nerve endings fall asloment. He's afraid to say something wrong. He’s afraid you'll misunderstand him. Whenever he thinks about the possibility of having you, touching your skin, your lips, your body... he drives away the desire. He's not worthy. The things he's already done. It didn't seem right that the same hands that kill could be able to touch you correctly. You deserved more.

Too old for that kind of thing. So, all that was left was for him to observe her. At least from afar he couldn't lose you.

"If you keep looking at her like this, you'll make a hole in her skin," Tommy whispered to his brother, squeezing his shoulders.

"Shut up, Tommy"

"Seriously, you're a man, Joel. Call her out, it's not a big deal"

Joel just stared at his brother.

"C’mon man… She looks at you too... you're a nice guy"

"She's just being polite. Very kind to just kicking me out from this place"

"No other man would be good enough for her here, and you know that, if you continue with this shit, you'll end up having to watch any asshole take her home..."

Tommy shakes his head while waiting for you to come and serve him too.

***

Working at Tipsy was a quiet thing, most of the time. There were few nights that you had to put up with someone who ended up drinking too much, and inflating the courage to say things to you that would be at least impolite. But overall, it was something quiet. Decreased the feeling of loneliness - which you had also been used to dealing with - the end of the world does not provide healthy experiences, and keeping mental health in line is a daily exercise.

You had just left the library, selected another book - which you knew you would read in a maximum of three days - the plan was to sit on your old couch, cover your legs with the wool blanket you had knitted, and keep next to a good herbal tea that you had harvested in your garden in the morning.

The cold this afternoon was more severe, you walked looking for the sun, to warm it up, thinking about removing your heavier coats from the closet.

"Hey!"

The known and panting voice had just rested a soft hand on your shoulder.

"Hey! Maria, how you doing?"

"I’m fine. You? Did I get in the way of your thoughts? You were closed in your private world"

You smiled.

"I'm fine, thank you. I was making a mental note to remove the married people from the closet, it seems that we will have a merciless winter this year"

She nodded.

"Do you work tonight?"

"Not really, today is my day off. Do you need help with anything?"

"Yeah, I do. I was wondering if you could help me with the recipe for that Arabic salad you make, I've tried it a thousand times and I don't get it... Tommy will get sick if he doesn't eat this salad..."

You smiled.

"Yeah, shore. Tonight?"

"If you don't care..."

"No, of course not. At 6 p.m.?"

"Sounds great! I'll wait for you."

You nodded.

“See you there”

Maria has always been an amazing woman since you arrived in Jackson. She and Tommy welcomed you in the best way, with patience and care. As much as your plans were to stretch your legs up, you could never say no to this couple to whom you owe so much. If you were in a safe place today, it was because they had provided you with it. You know that Jackson is the closest to life you once had, and no matter how much it was a long way of pain and suffering, living was still an act of courage, which you were proud of day after day for having the courage to choose to live.

Tommy welcomed you with a smile on his face.

"Maria is making the baby sleep, can I help with anything?" He said as they walked to the kitchen.

You took a look at him, smiling.

“What? I'm a great co-pilot in the kitchen"

You raised your arms.

"I didn't say anything"

You laughed. Tommy taught you how to navigate the kitchen, left the ingredients at your disposal, while killing time talking. He was a very communicative man. It was no wonder that the community respected him, he was able to maintain order and protected about 300 people. Only someone articulate enough was able to keep the nerves of 300 people under control.

You were teaching how he should cut the tomato, when he got distracted looking behind you.

"Look at you man, did you take a shower!? Well, thankfully, because definitely Joel is more skilled than me in the kitchen"

You turned around smiling, Joel was... just Joel, a man whose presence did not have any explanation. He was a little older than you, a crease always demarcating the forehead, fierce eyebrows, outlined face, beard covering the face, perfectly messy hair, demarcated jaw. He had all the characteristics of a man, masculine, strong with a striking presence.

He wasn't a talker, few times you have the pleasure of seeing him smile, always worried, nervous or too tired, you had the feeling that he not had a good night's sleep for decades. The tension he carried on himself was something so poor that sometimes you have already found yourself wondering if you would be able to relieve the lines of insistent expressions that he carried on his face. If you would be able to make him feel relaxed, calm and serene.

But, although you could also swear to see him several times - a considerable amount - looking at you, every time - also a considerable amount - that you tried to pierce his shell, he always pushed you, gently and respectfully, away.

Today, however, you had never seen so many expressions passing through Joel's face at the same time. Surprise, nervousness, hesitation... he seemed paralyzed since he entered the kitchen.

"Hi" you said, your voice seeming to pull you into the world again.

He blinked.

"I'll see if Maria needs help" Tommy walked to her brother "can you help her?"

He stared at his brother, still motionless, but nodded. He slowly approached you.

"Are the tomatoes giving you trouble?" He asked pointing out where Tommy left the job in half.

You smiled.

He reached the cutting board with the knife to continue.

"You don't have to, I can..."

"I'll help you"

He looked at you so deeply, the luminosity of the house was dim, you have never been like this side by side, always separated by a counter, or far enough away to just greet each other with a nod. You had to look away, focusing on the cucumbers you were cutting.

He followed the cutting pattern you set to Tommy, and clearly more skilled, in fact. The big arms holding the small fruit, in such a subtle way, contrasting with the big hands and long fingers. The movements outlining the muscles over the tissue of your flannel. Hypnotizing your eyes with every movement.

"Am I doing something wrong?"

You almost got scared, when you heard him, too concentrated in that man's hands, making it difficult to take care of policing yourself so that he didn't realize that you had your eyes fixed on his movements. It was only then that you realized that you were biting your lips. You cleared your throat.

"No" you shook your head, trying to clear your mind, returning to focus on the cucumbers "no, you’re natural, like a Cheff. I didn't know you were a good cook"

He snapped his lips. A crooked smile crossed his lips.

"I have some skills"

You smiled.

"How does it feel to be on the other side of the counter?"

He shrugged, and looked at you again.

"At this moment, I feel better than ever"

You was fully aware of the heat that invaded your face, and burned in your stomach. You couldn't say many other things.

Joel stayed by the side until the end of the salad preparation, reaching all the materials you needed. Sometimes your arm or hand ended up brushing Joel's skin and body. Your body was so tense that it seemed difficult to breathe. The air was a little thick and the kitchen seemed very small.

Maria and Tommy came back for a while - which seemed very long - later. Maria prepared a meat, removing it from the oven as soon as you had just prepared the salad. You dined to the sound of maternity reports. Raising a baby was not easy, and raising a baby in this world was twice as difficult. Although Maria and Tommy had been blessed with a calm and healthy baby, a child who slept all night, and was quite calm during the day.

Maria served you a wine that someone from the commune had produced, with natural fermentation with grapes produced there inside Jackson itself. Tommy helped Maria organize the dinnerware, while you and Joel were sitting outside the house, in upholstered chairs that Tommy and Joel had made before last winter.

You hugged your knee, holding the glass with the wine, in the hope that the liquid would make its due effect and warm your body.

"Are you cold?" It was the first thing he said after cutting the tomatoes.

It was surprising that, although immersed in a silence, there was nothing uncomfortable to be next to him and to be silent.

You sighed.

"I haven't taken the coats out of the closet yet..."

Joel got up, covering your back with his jacket. You closed your eyes with the feeling of warmth around your body. He was hot. Your hands pulled the fabric to cover more of your body, which made you think how small you were close to him, the jacket could easily become a blanket.

"Better?" He was sitting in front of you.

You nodded.

"Thank you"

Your cheeks pressed your shoulder. The smell of him invading your senses. You were warmed by the heat that radiated from his jacket. And it was numb by the smell that the fabric exhaled. So comfortable. So cozy.

When you had finished the wine. Your eyes blinked lazy, it was time to leave.

You got up, unrolling yourself from your jacket.

"Time to go" you leaned over to deliver the jacket to Joel, but he also raised "Maria, Tommy, always a pleasure to spend time with you guys"

"There is no possibility of eating this salad if it is not made by you," Tommy said, hugging Maria.

You smiled.

"Always available, for you. Maria, give a kiss in that little one for me"

"Of course! Thank you for dinner, it was delicious"

She leaned over to hug you.

You were still holding Joel's jacket. You was going to say goodbye to him, but he was faster than you.

"I'll follow you to your home"

"You don't have to..."

"I make a point, I'll also take advantage of the ride and go home"

You nodded. He said goodbye to his sister-in-law and brother. Walking next to you to the exit of the house. Once they were walking through Jackson's deserted streets, he pulled the jacket from your arms, stretching it on your back again.

"It's cold, you can get pneumonia and die"

You smiled, making a face.

"So dramatic"

He was close enough to bump into your arm, with every step you took, his hands in the front pockets of the jeans. Slow steps. Your house was not far away, but the path seemed to drag under your feet.

"I'll stay here" you stopped in front of the stairs on your balcony.

You was going to start sliding the jacket.

"No, stay with her" Joel said.

"No, I'm going in and I'll be safe and warm. You still have the way home" your hands stretched the jacket for him "I don't want you to get pneumonia and die" you smiled and rolled your eyes.

His big hands held the jacket, brushing your hands. Even with his jacket, your hands were cold, the warmth of his touch could easily melt your skin. He was so warm. You two faced the place where your skins were. His thumb stroked your hand.

Your body was taken by an anticipation, an anxiety was making room in your stomach and it was as if you were getting hollow inside, burning the cells of the body.

Joel took a step towards you, shortening your distance. He was dangerously close to you. Your face were tingling.

His free hand rose slowly towards your face, as if he were giving you time to scold him. But you didn't. He touched your face. You stared at each other painfully, his warm fingers slid down the side of your face, and from your neck, moving your hair away from behind your shoulder.

He took another step, his eyes danced between your mouth and your eyes. He was leaning slowly, in your direction. His eyes holding your gaze. His hand holding your head. His nose touched yours.

"Tell me, if I do something you don't want" he murmured, close to your lips.

You nodded, your noses sliding on each other. Your head tilted to the opposite side of his head. Joel pressed his lips on yours, hesitant, kind. Moving away millimeters, bringing his body closer to yours, and pressing his lips on yours again. Longer.

You felt the softness of his belly, his firm breasts. You slowly opened your mouth to him, his tongue slid down your lip until he found yours. He tasted like the wine you had. You sighed.

Joel threw his jacket on the floor, his hand slipped down your waist and then down your back, pulling your body to him. One of your hands slid down his waist, grabbing his shirt. The other got entangled in his hair, your fingers in the middle of the messy curls.

The kiss became more and more intense, your breaths were heavy, your body was glued to his hot body, his heat taking over all your senses.

His lips separated from yours, his foreheads were united, Joel joined your lips in a long kiss, moving away again, you smiled. Still hugging. He moved far enough to find your eyes, running his fingers through the length of your hair.

"Do you want to come in?" You asked, almost pleading.

Joel brought your head to his lips, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"I should go home, sweetheart" his lips brushed the top of your head.

You were numb, your face practically glued to his chest, his smell, his body. His eyes were closed trying to record the maximum of this sensation.

"Okay..." you murmured.

"But can I see you tomorrow?" He asked, holding you against him.

You got just far enough away to look at him.

He smiled.

"I wanted to take you to a place"

You smiled, unable to prevent your lips from arching in happiness.

"Is it a date, Joel Miller?" You bit your lips.

His hands went up to hold your face.

"Yeah... would you grant me the honor of your company on a tour?" The thumbs of his hands caressed your face.

Your arms were around his waist. You pretended to think, pouting in the corner of your mouth.

"Yes, I would grant..." you ended up finishing.

He pulled you for a hug, caressing your back.

"Good! I was already thinking about how to persuade you"

You laughed, - as if it were necessary - you took advantage of the warmth of his arms for another moment, until you walked away, reluctant - it didn't seem that neither of you were happy to let go - taking a few steps back, until you climb your stairs.

"See you tomorrow morning" Joel said as he took his jacket from the floor, and took slow steps back.

He waited for you to enter the house.

-

It was difficult to contain the outbreak your body exhaled. You were feeling like a fucking teenager. Since the first time you saw Joel, your pupil has dilated. He was a man who drew attention, the kind of guy you wanted to wrap you in his strong arms, the kind of guy who made you fantasize about things. The way he walks. The way he speaks. Always looking so distant and mysterious, but shy and gentleman.

You noticed his looks at you. But he seemed so distant, he seemed to be so involved in this end-of-the-world thing, so hurt by the pain that, obviously, everyone went through that, it didn't make sense for you to fantasize something, it seemed unlikely that he was willing to be distracted to the point of risking having feelings for someone.

People always commented on him. When people can't pierce someone's bubble, when they can't explain their questions, they always end up attacking. There have always been buzz about how cruel and merciless man Joel is. About the things he was able to do, because he had already done.

But with you he has always been kind and respectful, up to this point, this is a matter of education, only. However, you knew hundreds of people who were very good and not even if you wanted education could sustain for a long time, depending on the scenario.

There were, of course, many women who were sentimentally frustrated with him. Joel wasn't really in the mood. Beautiful, strong and intelligent women, fragile and petty women, he was the kind of guy who made any woman's type. That, for sure, also raised a lot of gossip.

Working at Tipsy was something that made you, whether you like it or not, end up listening, seeing and being a victim, of all kinds of things, even more so in a bunch of people, in which everyone knows everyone, and, unfortunately, everyone is busy with everyone's life.

Little by little you learned to filter the things that reached your ears. And, anyway, for you, Joel has always been a respectful man, above all. Your mind was clear and aligned with the possibility that he was someone difficult before Jackson, but who wouldn't be? There are things that could be justifiable, and there are things that perhaps, were not justifiable, maybe not necessary. But the moment wasn't the best either. Extreme moments, sometimes they ask for extreme attitudes. Anyway, it didn't make much difference to you.

What made a difference was that he was a kind man, he was never rude, not even when someone was being inconvenient. It was never disrespectful, not even when he drank too much. He was always willing and available to the people - which he certainly knew - spoke of him behind his back. And, what caught his attention the most, he was always protective, careful and loving with his daughter, Ellie.

It wasn't easy to raise a teenager before, you knew, now it should probably be terrifying. Even so, he kept himself patient, eyes always attentive and full of tenderness, ready for any sign that Ellie could think of giving. Always ready for her. That was one of the things that moved your heart the most. It was visibly noticeable that he would cut without blinking a limb for this girl. This kind of love was something you appreciated.

Joel knocked on your door, shortly after the sun settled in the sky. The morning was cold, there was a considerably dense fog hovering over Jackson's streets. The snow would not take long to start giving its first signs. The thermometers already marked low enough temperatures to roll up scarves and wear three layers of blouse, and maybe a cap, if you wanted to increase the look.

"Hi," you smiled at him.

"Morning, sweetheart" he leaned hesitantly towards you.

Your feet forced themselves to stay at the ends, in an attempt to reach him halfway. Joel pressed his lips on yours, time-consuming, needy. You smiled, he slowly walked away, you climbed up your body to give another quick kiss.

"Ready?"

You nodded.

"I hope so, should I bring something?" Your eyes catch the backpack on his back.

He shakes his head.

"No, don’t worry, I have everything we need"

You nod, closing the door behind you.

***

Anxiety has always been something that tormented Joel's head. Before he thought too much for fear of not being a good father to Sarah. Then he blamed himself for Sarah's mother having left, and how it would affect Sarah's life. And then came the concerns about how he would solve life and be able to provide a good future for Sarah. Oh, how painful it was to think about the future and Sarah.

There was a moment when anxiety and sadness entangled so much in his mind that there was only room for these two feelings. Apart from, of course, the responsibility of keeping Tommy well, alive and safe.

Of course, things got better when Ellie arrived. There was the time when the fear of losing her consumed him. Now she was big enough to push him away, to make the decisions by herself. Even so, she will always be a good child, and he loves her unconditionally, he will always be there for when she needs it. There was the anxiety and the worry of keeping her safe. There would always be. But he knew Jackson was safe. He himself made sure to keep Jackson safe for her.

But now for the first time in a long time, the anxiety he felt was whether he would find you on Tipsy, if he would know how to answer your questions well enough that you didn't think he was an idiot. He felt the anxiety of, needing to contain himself, of needing to control the desire to touch you. Or one day you end up knowing that you finally found someone to be. He needed to control the impulses to drive away the men who flirted with you. To observe the malicious eyes that lingered on you. Joel could read the guys' minds as if their fucking brains were on a big screen. And just that, it was enough for him to long for just an opportunity to punch these men in the face.

He couldn't remember the last time he felt like this, about someone else. He dreamed of you. He was nervous about the idea of meeting you. He liked your voice, your smile, the way you moved, the sweet way you looked at him. Your hair... he knew that if he approached you, he would be at risk of wanting you for him, for the rest of his life.

Tommy invited him to dinner, without telling him that you would be there. He knew the moment he saw you, that Tommy was pushing him. And he can't blame him. Tommy knew him as well as he could know himself. Joel saw you arrive, he saw you settle down, he saw you building friendships, he saw you wisely dealing with people, he saw you being simply you, as if the fucking world was not over, and you had managed to stay perfectly good.

At all times, he can't take his eyes off you. He vividly remembers the day you met him - because, he already knew you - the soft and basically sacred skin of your hands gently shook Joel's hands. Your big Corsican eyes, slightly closed when your lips drawn by God's own hands, opened in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

And then he was there, holding your body against his, your mouth merging with his. Your heavy breathing, as inviting as he could imagine, was difficult to hold the impulse of wanting to drag you to his bed, immediately undressing your body, and warm it up with his body on yours. Finally being able to feel the taste and flesh of your lips. Your smell and the small sounds you made when he pulled your body closer to his.

He had found the passage to paradise.

Now he could only be anxious to be good enough for you, good enough to have it, and enough to keep it.

You were beautiful in the morning, properly wrapped up, which was good, you were a little cold person, he had already noticed. Maybe it was because you were a small woman, the wind overtook you easily. He smiled with the thought.

Joel bends his arm next to your body, so that you could hold his arms. You hooked yourself next to him, leaning your cheeks against his arm for a moment. It was deliciously satisfying to feel you snuggling next to his body.

"It's cold today" you speak rubbing a hand on his arm, in an attempt to warm your fingers with the friction.

Joel puts his hand on your own, which firmly hold him, feels you shudder little by little.

"It will snow soon” he watched the sky, and then you.

"What are you taking me to, Joel Miller?"

He smiles.

"You'll like it, trust me"

You two walked towards the stables. Joel had already left Callus prepared for you.

"Are we going to ride a horse?" You ask, your voice seemed curious but hesitant.

"Are you nervous?"

You shook your head. But your eyes said something else.

Joel finishes checking the sadle buckles, and walks up to you. He slides a lock of your hair behind your shoulders.

"Do you trust me?" He asks.

Your deer eyes force him to get a little closer to you.

"Yes, I trust you"

Joel kisses your forehead, holding your hand, to lead you to the horse.

***

How to explain how difficult it was to trust someone these days? You trusted Joel, he was a man to whom you naturally transmitted security. But it was impossible to avoid the butterflies dancing in your stomach.

He helped you get on the horse. Your arms around his waist, as he led you out of the gates.

"Joel?" You couldn't stand it.

"Mhmm?"

"Where are you taking me to?"

"Isn't you a fan of surprises?"

You laughed. Feeling unfair to him, whatever it was, it seemed unfair to steal whatever he took the trouble to plan. So used to always having everything under your control, knowing very well where you are stepping, what to do and when to do it, you was not used to not having control. Trusting without knowing what to expect.

"I'd like to show you a place, just it"

You smiled. It was almost as if you hadn't stopped smiling since the night before.

"All right, sorry”

You two rode for a long time, but it wasn't boring at all. You couldn't remember the last time you left Jackson. It could be a fantasy of your head, but the air looked different outside, everything was so much more alive. Nature was something imperial, only it had a place outside. The burning orange colors of the leaves of the trees with winter coming, the almost dead landscape had a melancholic beauty. The silence, only the horse's paws, you and nature. Joel stopped Callus on the slope of a mountain.

It helped you go down, holding your waist, sticking you to the floor.

"Let's walk a little now, okay?"

"Yeah, sure"

He held your hand.

"You said you liked hiking, that you missed nature..." he looked at you "I thought it would be a walk you would like."

Your heart almost jumped. You said a lot of things to Joel when he passed by Tipsy, but you could swear that he was just nodding out of politeness, it didn't seem like he was absorbing the information, keeping your words to himself. That was very cute.

The trail went up the mountain, and at no time did he let go of your hand. He said that he had already come here with Ellie, - which was very sweet, you understood that it was an important place for him - you talked about trivial things in life before the outbreak. You already knew some things, such as, for example, he and Tommy worked with construction companies, contractors, things like that. It was a surprise for him, when you say that you was a biologist.

"Fancy..."

You shook your head.

"It's not like this profession is very useful now, you know. Builders are much more fancy."

He smiled.

You said that you did a lot of field work, research and always ended up in the middle of the woods, these experiences were what ended up helping you survive in the first years of the outbreak.

Being walking around there, next to Joel, the strongest of him holding yours, surrounded by nature, one of the places where you felt most comfortable, filled your senses with peace and calm.

There was a patrol post in the middle of the way, Joel passed by, he didn't take long, he just removed a guitar from somewhere very well kept there.

"I'll leave it here for when we're going to do longer patrols..." he explained as he slides his hand through the instrument.

"I didn't know you played..."

"You will find out why, of almost no one having the joy of knowing," he said ironically.

You laughed.

When you reached the top, you had to hold back the urge to cry. Joel let go of your hand, watching you take small steps, looking at the view in front of you. You've been to beautiful places before, but being there, with the world in that scenario, next to a man who thought about the fact how much you would like something like that, was simply indescribable. Such an affectionate gesture on his part.

Your hands covered your mouth. You looked at him with teary eyes. The view was stunningly beautiful, exciting. The mountains in the background. The green, the trees. The sky. Him. Everything was perfect.

"Did you like it?" He asked quietly as he approached you.

"Joel..." you looked back at the landscape that looked millimetrically hand-painted "it's perfect... I loved it, this place is amazing"

He smiled, hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your head, his arms around you. You stayed there for a while. The cold wind cut you, a painfully pleasant feeling of knowing that you were closer to the sky.

Joel opened his backpack, extending a blanket on the floor, removing fruit, water, and a bottle of tea. You sat down, Joel leaning against a trunk of a tree, you in the middle of his legs, resting on his breasts, his hands on yours, separating just to reach some drink, or some fruit, your fingers intertwined stroking each other's hand.

He played the guitar for you. This man's voice is a threat to your heart.

"I wanted to be a singer when I was younger"

"You would have been a star. Women would go crazy"

He laughed.

“You are such good lier”

You tried to convince him that he was really good at that. But he was a modest man, and too shy to receive so many compliments.

The silence was comfortable too, you had a book in your hand, feeling the sun on your skin, the birds flying in the sky. Joel was also reading.

"Joel?" You tilted your head back, leaning against his chest, to look at him.

"Mhmm?"

"Did you plan all this?"

He nodded behind you.

"You simply, you just eliminated any kind of competition, you know that, right? After today, it will simply be impossible for anyone to surpass you"

He sighed a smile.

"When you told me you missed nature, this was one of the first places that came to my mind.”

“Thank you, I really liked it”

“Yeah… I just didn't imagine that I would have the opportunity to one day bring you here"

You turned to look at him.

"Why?"

He seemed to be embarrassed.

"I didn't think you would give me a chance"

You settled to face him.

"What do you mean?"

He looked away, looking beyond you, at the landscape. He seemed afraid to say the words. One of his hands that were at your waist, reached a small and thin branch on the floor to distract his attention.

"Did you really think I was going to Tipsy just to drink that damn whiskey that Seth serves?"

You kept analyzing his face. Without answering.

"Tommy and I got better whiskeys when we went on patrol" he threw the branch on the floor, looked at you again "I'm going to Tipsy because I wanted to see you"

It took you a while to process the information.

"Joel..."

"I wanted to spend time with you, but look at you..."

You frowned.

"I never imagined that a woman like you would waste some time with a man like me, and... besides, I didn't want to bother you"

You tilted your head, your hands held his face, affectionately directing his gaze to you.

"Joel, what could a woman like me want, if not a man like you?"

He smiled, embarrassed and tried to divert his face from his touch.

"Look at me," you said, holding his face again, "you are a kind, generous, polite, respectful, honest man, I would waste any time with you"

His eyes seemed painful, as if your words were being stuck in his skin, as if he were being forced to believe your words, as if he himself was not able to recognize the man he was.

You caressed his rebellious hair, approaching him, to kiss him, soft and gentle in the beginning. But this was gradually being replaced by a needy pain, when his hand went up to your neck, the other fixing your legs so that you were on his lap, putting your legs around his hip, your arms leaned on his wide shoulders, he pulled you close, his hand sliding through the hem of your blouses, letting some fingers brush your skin. You moaned in his mouth, your skin shivering, his tongue plunged into you, making you press yourself against him, putting your body stuck to his, his hands went down to your hip, but his fingers squeezed the flesh of your ass. You were about to start moving your hips in search of relief when he walked away from you panting.

His forehead stuck to yours. You smiled.

"Sweetheart” he said “Maybe we should go back..."

"Yeah, it seems like a good idea"

You made a slight cuddle on his hair, he pressed some quick kisses on your lips, before you got up, put things away, and made the trail back.

The way back to Jackson was faster. Joel left Callus in the stables, it was almost incredible that you spent almost the whole day together, it was almost the end of the afternoon when you were making their way back to your house. You still had to work at night. Everyone who passed by you two, delayed their eyes, your eyes caught some women whispering among them. You pretended not to see it.

You were almost in front of your house.

"I hope I didn't make you tired, you still work tonight, right?"

"That’s right, but I'm not tired, it was basically like recharging the energies"

He smiled.

You were about to climb the stairs from your balcony. He held your hand.

"Can I see you tonight?" He looked at you looking for any kind of approval on your face.

"Joel, you can see me whenever you want"

He seemed satisfied.

"But you can come in if you want. I still have some time, until I start my shift"

You held his hand harder. Almost as if he had no choice but to accept. He nodded. You went up the stairs, opening the door, pulling him behind you.

As soon as you were inside your house, he pushed you against the door. Kissing you, slipping his tongue inside your mouth, he put his knee in the middle of your leg, causing a perfect pressure for the friction you needed from the heated kiss you gave on the mountain, you shook your hip, he moaned in your mouth. His cock was already hard and arching.

Going down kisses down your jaw, your fingers pulling his hair.

"I won't be able to wait until after work for this," you murmured.

"I was hope not" he said in his skin.

He could feel your need by rubbing your hip on his leg. Fuck, he wanted to feel you, sink into you, he thought about it so much for so long, that it was the realization of a fucking dream, kiss your beautiful mouth and have your perfect body like that for him.

His hands slid up your ass, pulling your body to him, you moaned. Your hands pushed his coat to the ground, desperately unbuttoning his shirt.

He pulled you up, so that you were on his lap, your legs crossed his waist, his hands on your ass holding you.

"Where is the room, babe?" He asked panting.

"Third door on the left"

He walked with you in his arms, while you kissed messy, you pushed your coat to the floor along the corridor. Cursing the - now - exaggerated amount of clothes. Joel put you on the floor, helping you undo the buttons on his shirt. Pulling his blouses by his arms, you undoed his belt, the button of his pants, he pulled the last shirt he wore by his body.

God! He was beautiful, so hot. You kissed the firm skin of his chest, he pulled your last blouse by your arm, and almost whimpered when he saw your naked breasts for him - you were not a fan of bras - your nipple was hardened, your skin goosebumps.

“Fuck, you're more beautiful than I could imagine," he murmurs, pushing you to bed.

His hands deliciously squeeze the soft skin of your breasts, he goes down a path of kisses through your collarbone, slipping his lips through your skin, until he finds your nipple, he gently passes his tongue through him, while the other hand squeezed your other breast, your silky skin against his big, calloused and warm hands, his mouth closes over your nipple, sucking you there.

You can't contain the moan that rises from the bottom of your chest, arching with the feeling of his mouth on your body. He slides his mouth to the other chest, doing the same to him. Your hands get tangled in his hair.

He slides his lips down your belly, deposits a kiss just below your navel.

"Are you sure of that?" He pauses, looking at you.

“Yes, Joel”

He kisses your belly once again and pulls the jeans by the legs.

Your panties had a shamefully damp spot.

"Fuck, babe" he slid his finger over hot and wet fabric "are you needy for me all day?"

"From the moment you suggested leaving" you were panting. "You are a bad man"

He smiles.

"I'm going to reward you"

You smiled. Breathing stuttering.

Joel hooked his fingers pulling your panties, throwing somewhere lost on the floor, crawling to the middle of your legs. He put a leg on each shoulder, it took him a second to appreciate the image of your pussy in front of him, you felt his warm breath approaching you, until he pressed a kiss on your clit. Your breathing trembles with the sensation.

He ran his tongue painfully from wandering from your hole to your clitoris.

“Tastes so fucking good..."

You moaned and he sank his tongue in your heat, moaning too, without avoiding the good taste you had, his hand passed by you, reaching your clitoris, your back arching for him.

He was literally eating your pussy, devouring you while you moaned arching at his touch, you were dripping, more and more wet while his tongue worked on you in a way you didn't even know was possible. He sank a finger inside you, feeling you contract as he stretched you, your breathing getting more and more panting, your hands ran to his hair. He bent his finger inside you, making you choke on the perfect feeling, pressing your clit more, you arched and undone around it, with a strangled moan, pushing deeper into you. He smiled, as he felt your body collapsing with pleasure for him.

He dragged his lips through your body, the wet and shiny beard, you were out of breath. He separated just enough to look at you, your hands were around his face.

"You're still sure..."

You pulled his face to yourself, kissing him, tasting you on his tongue. Your hands went down to push his jeans. He got up to take off the rest of his pants and underwear.

And, it was almost impossible for your to get better, but you had, he had a gloriously perfect cock, leaking from his swollen, big and thick head.

He knelt in the middle of your legs, taking his hands in your middle gathering your wet, passing over his length. Joel lowered his cock so that his head was in your hot and wet entrance, lay down on you, his body warm and heavy.

"Tell me if it hurts, and we'll stop, ok?"

You nodded.

***

He rested his forehead on yours, closing his eyes trying to focus on something other than your soft and naked body for him, something other than your incredibly hot pussy in which he was about to sink.

You passed your hands through his hair.

He pressed the head of his cock, and only then your pussy already clung to him tight. He pushed slowly inside you, little by little, giving you time to get used to him, desperately trying to focus on anything else, but your hands slid down his back pulling him against you, it was amazing. God! You feel so damn good.

He knew, he imagined it would be amazing, you were equally amazing, your beauty, your skin, your smile, he did not contain the grunt you made when you felt your hips meet and know that it was totally inside you. You clung to it, squeezing it, so hot and soft. The volume of your breasts below it, your body. Your mouth. You licked his lips.

It had been a long time since Joel felt this way, you fell so good, the feeling was painfully too hot, he could never dream of something as good as you taking him totally, deep in your wet heat.

"Fuck" you gasped in his ears “you feel… oh my God”

He felt you, every part of you, every muscle contracting, the weight of your breathing, your arms moving as if you wanted to touch most of it you could.

“I know, sweetheart” he kissed you while he was deep inside you. Starting to move, your hip moved to meet him, you moaned in his mouth “You taking me so well”

Joel was slow, he couldn't press too much, he would cum too fast. He took his time, savoring every part of you, every kiss, and every movement he made, listening to the beautiful sounds you exhaled through him.

When his cock was painfully tight on you, he moved faster, more urgent, your fingers stuck in his skin, your legs intertwined his back, he knew you wouldn't last much longer, your walls squeezing around his cock. Your breathing stuttering.

"I won't last much longer..." he murmured on your shoulders "where...?"

"Inside me..."

He growled. While fucking you harder, faster, sinking deep inside you, your body faltered, with involuntary spasms, Joel held your body against his.

"Fuck, that’s it, cum for me" he said, feeling your walls pulsing around him “c’mon babe, that’s it”

He can't stand it, falling apart inside your heat, pulsing inside you. Your hands pressed his back causing him to somehow sink deeper into you. He moaned on your shoulder, feeling his fucking leaking from you, through his balls, on your leg.

His body collapsed on top of you, you kissed his shoulder, his neck. After his breaths stabilized, he raised his head to kiss you, soft, affectionate. He moved so you could lie down and bring you to lie on his chest.

"You're amazing" he said, moving your hair away from your back.

"And, you wouldn't ask me out, like, never"

He smiled.

"I think you need to reward me for lost time"

He looked at you. Smiling satisfied.

"I can start with today, after your work"

You snapped your eyes, you were going to get up quickly, but he held you.

"You can be a few minutes late"

You snuggled up on his skin.

“Sweetheart?”

“Mhmm?”

“When you said I eliminated all the competition, were you serious?”

You looked at him smiling.

“It’s not like there’s a line of men at the door of my house, but, yeah, I was serious, I mean, I’m not crazy not to take advantage of you”

He kissed the top of your head.

“You are a dangerous woman”

"Yeah?..." you bit your lips.

He pulled his leg to be on top of his.

"Yeah" He said quietly, knitting his eyebrows.

You kissed the skin of his chest, he slid his hands down your spine. Your arm grabbed his waist, his fingers caressed your arms.

“You’d better get ready, because if you’re willing, I intend to be the last man of your life”

Maybe you missed your work on this day.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

hiii !!!! I've been LOVING your yaelokre headcannons since I joined the fandom :)) if I may, I'd like to share two requests I have for them !!

× the larks first show

× the larks and cooking

They're very few, but it's been lingering in my mind for quite a while !! Absolutely no pressure tho :))

hi! i’m glad you’re enjoying the hcs! 🥰

yeah, i can do those!

The Lark’s First Show

It was a mess beforehand.

Cole was basically pulling out their hair and making a nest, pacing back and forth, stressing over every little detail- “What if my voice cracks? What if I forget every lyric? What if I drop my instrument? WHAT IF I PEE MY PANTS ONSTAGE?!”

“Okay, you need to calm down,” Perrine said.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN?! How can I possibly CALM DOWN when we’re about to do the biggest thing any of us have ever done before?!” Cole squawked back. “How are YOU so calm?!”

“Oh, she’s not!” Kingsley piped up. “She’s shaking! I also heard her giving herself a pep talk beforehand we got here!”

“KINGSLEY!” Perrine yawped.

Clémentine had to step in from there. They were almost eerily calm, with a serene smile on their face. It was daunting. Even though Cole’s anxiety was blowing things a bit out of proportion, they were right- this was a huge event for all of them.

And yet, Clémentine was calm.

Cole, bewildered, asked them how that can be possible.

Laughing, Clémentine responded, “Oh, I am nervous! Very much so! Look at my hands, they’re shaking! But freaking out won’t do anything but make it worse.”

They then get the others to do some breathing exercises, and as silly as they were, it helped.

“We’re gonna do amazing. We’ll make the Harkers proud.”

And they did!

It was a bit of a rocky start- Cole’s voice did crack, but no peeing of the pants happened, so that was good! And there were a few slip ups, but as the performance went on, they all found their rhythm, and it proceeded smoothly!

Getting a standing ovation at the end was like a dream come true. (They all cried)

The Lark and Cooking

Perrine does most of the cooking for the group. She has a few cookbooks that she uses! I feel like the kids would have their own garden to grow fruits and vegetables, so she would get most ingredients from there, but for meats, she’ll fish and hunt.

When it comes to hunting, none of the others want to even TRY. Cole will cry if they have to kill an animal, Clémentine feels too bad, and Kingsley simply isn’t trusted with a weapon. Fishing, however, is different, and they all like having fishing days! Even if Kingsley does get bored after a few minutes.

Perrine doesn’t even necessarily like hunting herself, but it needs to be done. I feel like they don’t get paid that much for their performances, if they get paid at all, so it’s easier to live off the land, and that means hunting. Money needs to be saved for things like medicine, clothing, and things they can’t get from foraging. So, it’s Perrine who bites her tongue and goes out to hunt.

This is getting off topic, but I have more hunting-related headcanons, so if anyone is interested, let me know!

Anyway, yeah, Perrine does most of the cooking, and she’s very good at it! It relaxes her.

Clémentine also helps cook, and they’re also good! However, they don’t like handling meat because they always worry that they’re gonna undercook it, and the last thing anyone needs is all four of them getting food poisoning at the same time in their little house.

They’re very good at baking, though! They LOVE to make all kinds of baked goods, such as cookies or cakes or little pastries with berry filling. Everyone loves their treats!

Cole can do the bare bones cooking- soup and sandwiches. Everything beyond that somehow always gets messed up, whether that be because they added too much or too little of something or they forgot to grease the pan and the food is sticking to the bottom of it.

However, they love to bake with Clémentine! They can make a few baked goods on their own, but those are all recipes they’ve learned from watching Clémentine.

They also make really good tea!

Kingsley is not allowed near the stove.

[nyxscave]

On anxiety, academics and the mess that can build up silently over time (TL;DR in red at the bottom if you don't want to hear me yapping)

1. What the fuck happened

Hi, so; I've been missing for some time and it is kind of related to this, although not entirely. I'll try to post more, not only to keep this blog alive but to also try to keep myself sane. As to why:

Raging anxiety!!! Lots of it.

What happened for the entirety of last week was not something I've ever had experienced, and it freaked me out so bad. Heart doing some weird shit and a constant, constant weight on my chest plus half of my face tingling like I was having a stroke as a bonus. Not fun! At all!

I thought I was dying and yes, I know IN THEORY that anxiety can make you feel like that but it has never happened to me before. All of that is characteristic of an anxiety attack, yes, but it lasted days. A whole week of that without any respite. I just didn't freak out even more because I was spending all my free gpt-o4 writing what I was feeling and asking for-the-love-of-god if I was dying and needed to call the emergency.

(I'm all against AI for all of that, btw; but I was desperate and in the situation I'm in rn going to the hospital or looking for medical assistance is something to be done very, very sparringly, unfortunately)

It went away yesterday, although not completely. I'm still shaken up at times, but I'm functional. That's something I really need to be as I have a presentation to prepare and rehearse for next week. I'm really trying.

2. Why, why, why and WHY gods

Nothing in particular triggered it. I wasn't particularly anxious when it started, and I'm actually two months into a break from anything stressful - graduated in march, have two extra presentations for next week and then august but that's it; my master's classes only begin in august, too, and I was accepted into the program and have an advisor already.

Almost nothing to worry about, right? I've been through the wringer before and it surely was a lot more stressful than an almost-vacation. Come on.

And BOOM! A ONE-WEEK ANXIETY CRISIS FOR U BABY

I don't know why, actually. The best guess I have is that it built up from months and years of stress and shitty coping mechanisms that didn't have an immediate effect while I was really stressed - those all-nighters and anxieties that were so bad that didn't seem to pass even after the event was over - came down all at once, and not mentally, but physically.

What the mind can't handle, the body tries to, right?

3. Now ok what does that matter to you reading this

"Please take care of yourself" honestly doesn't seem too convincing and you can also think that "Oh, I am, I'm not even feeling that bad", but. BUT. That was a scare for me. A real big one. One that could have gone way worse, and one that still lingers. I'm using all of my limited energy to focus on being functional and finishing the bare minimum preparations for my presentation, but that's it. The rest is all going to trying to hold myself together.

Which you know what entails? Sun exposure, physical exercise and 9 hours of sleep. That's it. I literally can't do more self-care than that or I will explode and probably cry and sob until I can't even stand up from the headache the dehydration will give me.

But a TL;DR is that you can be silently anxious. Your mind can be working overtime in the background and you may not know past some really, really mild things (in my case, a slight pressure on my chest when I tried to meditate with my back straight, and that was there for so many years I though it was just a me thing).

Don't wait for the crash. Really, really don't wait for it to get that bad, because it can come out of nowhere. I am a healthy young adult, no chronic conditions in sight, no family history of cardiopathies or anything. And still, thinking that my mental health was good because "I'm not really an anxious person, I barely feel anything when things are stressful", my body crashed with all the weight my mind was just carrying in the background and not letting me feel properly because it's never "the time" to. I never have time to crash or to process my emotions gently. I didn't have time now, either; but it still happened, and I'm lucky it wasn't before anything too important.

So take care. Please.

And also know that if you feel like you're struggling even though your mind or body don't give external signals that things are bad, they can still be bad, and you have the right to take some time to yourself and just be kind and soft amidst all the productivity and results academics or work expect from you.

[piyo13sdoodles]

day 28, chapter 76:

At the expression on Quintus' face Cliopher could take no more. He started laughing before he made it out of the room, though the loudest whoops came after he'd reached the hallway. He did not get far along, just sank down at the top of the stairs so he could try to muffle his mirth with his hands. ~ "Your family seems somewhat perturbed," Rhodin observed after a few minutes.

and bonus gallery shot + musings under the cut because it's been exactly 4 weeks now:

fun to see what kinds of patterns intentionally or unintentionally crop up... or also which days i can tell i was busy vs which days i had time or worked in advance to dedicate more time to the piece. if anyone's curious, on average one of these might take me 2-3 hours to complete! more detailed ones like october 23 i think probably took me closer to 5 hours, simpler ones like october 9 maybe 1.5h.

i am both sad and glad it's almost over--i've definitely lost a fair amount of sleep trying to get these done in time (usually i work a day ahead so i can post at a reasonable time, but that hasn't always worked out, especially in the final stretch here), so this pace does become untenable on top of work, but it also is really fun to make so much art! and to always have something to work on rather than becoming trapped into that idea of 'what should i do, too many choices, can't decide..' the answer is always inktober!

in any case, seeing the gallery like this is also interesting to me because it really helps me realize where i could have/should have pushed the ink a bit more--working in ink is (to me; this is definitely not gospel, just how i consider ink work) an exercise in controlling contrast. you don't have colour to drive edges or cool/warm tones, so the only value you have is the light-dark contrast, and in my mind at least, good use of contrast should carry across to a smaller format. for example, zoomed out like this i can see that october 11th really needed more contrast in the feathers--they blend too much into the background in a way that doesn't really work to emphasize that ludvic is standing in front of the candles there. otoh, on october 5, i think that one's fine because what i wanted was for the moon to draw the eye first, and THEN for you to notice HR sitting there.

overall, also, i want to keep these interesting--if the compositions are always the same, then it can become repetitive or boring, so i wanted a good mix of light and dark compositions, and a good balance of tone across all of them. which so far i'm pleased with! and this year i let myself use pencil undersketches and do thumbnail planning and everything (last year i really wanted to get better at visualizing the piece in my head so i set the challenge of just committing straight to paper... i'm still happy with last year's but you can tell i took on much more challenging compositions this year lol)

anyway!! much to think about, so much to learn, i wanted to work a bit in advance again so i won't be putting tomorrow's up almost at midnight again but alas i think it was not meant to be, so i'm off to bed and if you read this whole thing, congrats, have a cookie *hands you a cookie*

[kimeoshi]

HI i’ve been sifting through tumblr’s hsr tag for a while and i’ve come across a couple of ur artworks over the last few months, and i was in awe each and every time 😭 and just now i saw ur v-day art and realized all those drawings were made by the same person !!

I’m genuinely so impressed by your drawing capabilities and style aghh,, i’m a writer so i don’t draw myself but i wish i could ?? i just don’t really know how to improve. i’ve done exercises and all that in the past (like drawing 3d objects and stuff) but i don’t really see how they help ahahaha, and i don’t really know how to break a human down into shapes either 😞 and it just kills me bc i know every day i don’t draw is time i could be wasting to improve, but i wish i had a better way to do it more efficiently / know i’m doing things right lol 😭

if u have any advice i’d fr appreciate that,, ofc u don’t have to so just ignore my yapping if you don’t have any ideas HAHA anyway yeahhh, i’m sorry about the rambling heh. essentially, i just wanted to say that love your art and you’re one of the people that have inspired me to want to learn to draw!! have a good day 🪂

It means so much to me that I can inspire you to create art!!! If anything that is one of my sole goals as an artist and its... agh..;; Thank you;;;

One excellent book for this is Anatomy for Sculptors, as it describes how each part of the human body is built up from simpler shapes; as sculpting boils down to that. A lot of artists recommend it too, and I wish I could show you snippets in this post but I cannot.* You will be able to utilize what you already know like this about shapes!

Now how can you study from this? I usually go through a segment of the book, such as faces, draw what I see and try to add little notes. Once I do that, I take any other art/picture, and attempt to put everything in that guideline I've learned by drawing over it. Alternatively, you can put the drawing and, next to it, leave an empty space, then try to recreate it from scratch.

You can also redline what you did wrong once you put the drawing back up to the picture and see what you did right or wrong. This will help you build intuition for what is correct!

Also, don’t hesitate to ask for feedback! But keep in mind that non-artist friends won't always provide good advice. If you don't have artist friends and if you can, I recommend joining a community made for this... although be careful. Some people who want to criticize/give advice can be quite deconstructive rather than constructive. A good teacher is someone who keeps up your motivation, understands what you personally try to achieve and helps you get there, regardless of what their style or preference is. What matters is, when you walk away, you shouldn't feel insecure/embarassed/hurt/etc. at all when you try your best to keep an open mind.

However, learning does take a lot of time I admit. What matters is that you don't beat yourself up about it, I personally spent years refining my art to reach this level, and there's still a tremendous amount of things to learn and improve upon.

Also please do not push yourself in that manner too much, it is okay to rest too sometimes so that the knowledge you acquired can sit and fester like a petri dish. Eurekas happen in moments of mundanity after all! Spending all your time learning can be counterproductive; balance is key. Therefore, spending all your time learning can be counterproductive; balance is key. (Although I'm not implying you should sit back and do nothing, I'm wanting to say that you should take it easy-- at least that is what I conclude when I read your mentality, as I used to think the same way. You have the drive, but you need to give yourself grace too before you inevitably burn out.)

Study smart and not hard! And, of course, leave time for personal fun pieces too. As long as at the end of the day you knew you learned something small, you've done well.

*Since I believe knowledge shouldn't be gatekept, browse through the r/piracy subreddit to find the book. (I've linked this directly to their books megathread.) Unfortunely the original site I downloaded it form got shut down (Liber3). If you send me a DM, I can send my own copy! (This applies to anyone!)

[extra-stout-stories]

(In response to this ask for "a short story about a feedee becoming increasingly out of shape as they gain.")

I can't believe I've done this to myself.

I always wanted to lose weight. At least I thought I did. For as long as I can remember, I've been fat. And the world has never been kind to fat people.

Okay, there was a part of me that secretly liked it. A part of me that didn't mind the stares and the insults and the teasing. A part of me that even got a little excited by the thought that I was the biggest person in gym class, so soft and heavy that just a single lap on the track would leave me breathless and bright red. After all, my favorite hobbies were all sedentary ones. And I loved food. It's no wonder I was fat. It's no wonder I was fat and soft and out of shape, when my favorite thing to do on a Friday evening was beach myself in front of my computer with a six-pack of soda, a large pizza and a bag of candy.

But I did what I was supposed to do. I ran and stretched and lifted and sweated. I counted calories and tried to resist the things I knew I wasn't supposed to eat.

I did these things, but they never took. Exercise was so boring and uncomfortable. Sticking to a routine was so difficult. And there were so many foods to try… I could "waste" an entire week's work in the gym in a meal or two, if I let myself eat the things I really wanted. Maybe I'd lose five or ten pounds here and there. Maybe once every few years I'd manage to drop twenty or thirty. But they always came back, and more pounds came with them.

And I secretly liked that, too.

When everyday tasks started getting difficult, I took that as a sign that I needed to turn my life around. I shouldn't be getting winded tying my shoes, I thought. I just have to lose a little of this belly. As usual, I managed to do it, to keep up with a diet and a gym routine… for a few weeks.

But that secret voice kept calling to me. Heaving myself up from my armchair, stuffed and breathless from a routine of meals and snacks that started around lunchtime and didn't stop until my last snack before bedtime, I couldn't help wondering: how would it feel if I gained more? What if my belly were just a little bigger?

With no other responsibilities, I started to arrange my life around my nightly binges. Exercise and diets became a thing of the past, for good this time. Sometimes I'd struggle to do something that used to come easily, a bend or a reach or an attempt to fit somewhere, a walk that used to feel effortless, and get scared that I had gone too far. But then I'd lean back and heft my belly and feel how gigantically soft and heavy it was growing. I can't believe I've done this to myself. I can't believe I've done this to myself… and I love it.

And that's where you come in.

With remote work, I can spend all day at home. With you moving in with me, I can spend all day at home and never have to get up at all. You tell me I don't need to. In fact, you insist on it. And on the rare occasions I do, for a short waddle to the bathroom or the bedroom or a trip to the fridge, you love to watch how difficult it is for me.

I love it too. Feeling my face get flushed and red, feeling the sweat trickling down my forehead, feeling the sheer effort it takes to heft one gigantic thigh past another, pushing my enormous belly with every step… feeling your eyes on me, my face flushes even further, and it's not just from the exertion. When I look over at you and see your eyes shining with lust and excitement for how big I've grown, I reach down my belly as far as I can, grab a billowing fold of flesh, jiggle and squeeze. And I smile.

I'm never going back to the gym. How could I, when I can barely leave the house?

[autistic-duck]

It really sucks when you realize that a survivor's mentality is not a sustainable model for working full-time.

I can't go into every day thinking, “Oh, if the bathroom is occupied during lunch then I'll just wait to pee when I get home” because that is survival. I'm just surviving until I can get to a safe time and place. I am literally holding in pee for eight hours straight, feeling more and more pain because I can't figure out a better time to go to the bathroom.

I can't keep doing that.

Every day, it becomes, “If you can just sit still for a couple more hours, you'll get to move a little bit.”

Or, “if you can just hold in the tears until you can sneak into an empty room, you'll be able to make it through the day without anyone knowing you're upset.”

(Click “keep reading” to hear a more detailed explanation)

I started work this week, and I had completely forgotten just how awful it is to try and exist in a way that doesn't seem off-putting (or scary) to other people.

I had to do two eight-hour blocks of time alone away from home, which I hadn't done since high school, and I'm already realizing that my old methods no longer work.

I legitimately can't mask the entire day anymore. I can feel my joints groaning under the stress. My cells are feverish with the desire to stim. My mind is slowly melting under the fluorescent lights. The voices, the droning voices of professionals, buzz in my head and make no sense. I take notes, but the words look like no language I've ever spoken.

I can't keep pretending to understand what's going on.

But I'm also new to telling people that I'm disabled. The only people who know are immediate family and friends and the psychology clinic that diagnosed me. I want to be proud and confident, to just ask for and demand help, but I can't imagine anyone actually believing me. Nobody helps me when I ask for something because they decide it isn't important.

My sensory issues aren't “bad enough.” My social struggles are just “excuses to be rude.” My stimming is “attention seeking.”

Why did I choose education as the field to go into? I'm not cut out for this new “customer service” teacher mentality. I have to have good interactions with everyone all the time? Just so parents want to send their kids to our schools? How is that even possible? I have a hard time smiling at people who are nice to me, so how do you expect me to smile when someone is yelling at me for failing their student because they didn't turn in their work?

The education system is broken, and I'm just one disabled person who is just now realizing that their disability might actually stop them from keeping their dream job.

How do you advocate for yourself when you grew up thinking that self-advocacy was selfish and evil?

I literally just realized that I can't eat food or respond to greetings if I'm stressed. Showering used to make me feel relaxed before bed, and now it's the only thing preventing me from crying right before sleeping.

I want to learn Spanish, write in my journal, cook healthy meals, exercise in the morning, drink plenty of water, sleep comfortably at night, and spend time with friends who don't make me feel guilty for existing. I want to be able to go to the bathroom whenever I need to. Why does that feel impossible now?

If anyone has experience with advocating for a disability, especially high-functioning and heavily masked autism, I'd really like advice. Who do I talk to? What do I ask for? How do I explain my struggles and keep a job?

[bamber344]

New Beginnings

prev/next

masterlist

man this one gave me a lot of trouble. Sorry for the delay. in my defence I have discovered that there is a decent chance I may be depressed. Which. Makes a lot of sense with the things I've been struggling with lately.

HAH

anyways. Chapter time! Shoutout to my classes for actually putting me in a focused mood for long enough to get this shit done. all things considered I'm pretty damn proud of it. Enjoy!

CWs: discussions of child abuse, transphobia mention, implied sexual content, references to previous oofies (everything that happened with Steve, Jordyn's ongoing abuse, ect)

New Beginnings

Madeline scratched her head, looking at the back of Jordyn’s metal dome as she took in her new living space. Viv had called her yesterday evening, letting her know the whole situation, and that Maddie would be helping out. It made sense. This was generally what Maddie did as co-leader – when she was actually working, anyway – and she was wrapped up in this whole Jordyn business as well. It was just… awkward. She had no idea how to speak to the other woman. Every time they’d interacted, it had either been fleeting or Maddie’d had a specific goal in mind. Now she just… had to talk to her. Eugh.

“You like it?” she forced herself to ask, brushing her fringe out of her eyes. She’d been letting her hair grow out a bit more, though she was keeping the sides shaved. She even had a tiny ponytail going on at the back.

Jordyn shrugged. “It’s pretty similar to where I was living before. Only, I had a toilet and a shower in my room.”

Maddie frowned. “Must have been cramped.”

Jordyn stepped inside, tugging her suitcase along behind her. It didn’t look very full. “What have you got packed in there?” Maddie asked. Maybe there was something she could help her get; actually do her job, and all that.

She put her suitcase down and sat on the bed. “Uh, sleepwear, underwear… my armour cleaning supplies. Some books.”

Madeline cocked her head to the side. “No casual clothes?”

Jordyn shook her head. “I’m not allowed to leave my room without my armour on anyway, so… there wouldn’t be much point.”

Madeline detected a hint of longing in her tone. And fair enough. She knew exactly what it was like to be forced to wear clothes you didn’t want to wear; to long for a certain style, all the while knowing that indulging yourself would be met with brutal punishment. Maybe she and Jordyn had more in common than she originally thought.

She hummed, joining Jordyn on the bed. She still had more specific stuff to go over with Jordyn’s whole orientation – like where the kitchen was, the rules on food, laundry, etcetera – but she wanted to give the woman some time to acclimate to the new space first. Either that meant more awkward silence, or… talking.

“You, uh… You look good,” Jordyn said, staring at the floor.

“Hm?” Maddie questioned. If this was that old crush flaring up, she really didn’t want to stick around. Jordyn was probably a lovely gal, but Madeline had far too much of her own baggage to even consider doing anything with a trauma-case of Jordyn’s calibre.

“Healthy, I mean,” she clarified. “You’ve put on a bit of weight since I last saw you, and you have a bit of a tan.”

Oh. Well, that wasn’t too surprising. Madeline had finally found herself a job, working in a warehouse. It was good exercise for her lethargic body, and exercising more meant eating more as well. She was actually starting to fit into her costume again. The tan was probably just from walking to and from the workplace in the sun, though personally she hadn’t really noticed it. Apparently, Jordyn was keeping a pretty close eye on her. It made sense with the ‘crush’ theory.

“Thanks,” she replied. “I’ve been keeping busy. Uh, more than usual, anyway.”

Jordyn nodded, and silence returned, hanging over them like a thick cloud. Madeline swallowed. She needed to keep this conversation going before she lost her mind.

“So, how do you feel about everything? Moving to the Union and all that?”

“Excited,” Jordyn replied. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve been in the facility, with Father or the scientists always looking over my shoulder, coming into my room whenever they want. I still have my duties, and I still have to go in for reports, but… I’m excited to have my own space, y’know?”

Maddie smiled. “I hear you, there. When I was a kid, I wasn’t even allowed to have a door in my room. I had no privacy whatsoever, and with parents as strict as mine were, that made growing up… pretty difficult. Especially considering they were transphobic assholes.”

Jordyn cocked her head to the side, and Madeline predicted her question before she even asked it. She doubted de Vygon gave his test-tube baby a thorough education on queer culture. “What does that mean?”

She took a deep breath. This was not the turn she wanted this conversation to take, but that was just what she got for trying to share a personal anecdote. “Well, ‘trans’ is short for ‘transgender.’ It means I was born anatomically male, but I found out that doesn’t work for me, and decided to become a girl. ‘Transphobic’ means people who don’t like that very much, and would prefer that I stay as a boy, even though it was killing me.”

“...Does that mean you have a penis even though you’re a girl?”

The bluntness of Jordyn’s question made Madeline snort. She couldn’t even get mad; the girl was too damn innocent. “Yes. Anatomy is just anatomy. Gender is social, and doesn’t necessarily have to match up. You could be a man if you wanted to.”

“I don’t want to,” she answered surprisingly quickly.

Madeline smiled. “Me neither.”

“But… How was it killing you?”

Oh boy, they were really getting into it. Oh well, it was probably good for Jordyn to learn. “It’s… hard to describe to people who don’t know the feeling. But, it’s like, looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing someone who isn’t you, but not knowing why. You instinctively expect to see certain features, but they’re not there, and that discrepancy hurts. It’s being drawn to certain styles associated with the opposite gender, seeking out any way you can associate yourself more with the person you feel like inside. And the more you begin to notice the discrepancy, the worse it gets. Once you notice it’s there, you can never ignore it again. The only solace, aside from changing your identity to match your feelings, is total dissociation. And that’s no way to live.

“My parents wouldn’t let me dress in women’s clothes, or change my name or my pronouns, and if they caught me doing something like that, they would withhold food and… and beat me. It got to the point where I decided I would rather die than have to continue living as a boy, the pain was that bad. And the only way I’d get to live as a girl, as my true self, was if I did something drastic. So, I gave my parents an ultimatum. Either they accept me for who I am, or they never see me again. You can probably guess what they picked. I packed a bag full of the only feminine shit I could get my hands on, and I left and never looked back. It was the second-best decision I ever made.”

“Wow…” Jordyn muttered. “That’s… really brave of you. My dad does stuff like that too, but only when I do stuff to deserve it, so it’s not as bad. I can’t imagine ever running away like that. I don’t know how I’d survive.”

Madeline sighed, shaking her head. Try as she might to be apathetic, her heart fucking hurt for this girl. What a shit situation. “That’s the thing, Jordyn. No one deserves to be treated like that, no matter what they do.” She reached out and patted Jordyn on the back of her metal chestplate. “But you don’t have to worry about that anymore. You’ll be safe here. And you can see your dad as much or as little as you like.”

“Well, that’s not strictly true. I still have to see him every day for reports. But it’s okay. He’s my dad; I love him. Even… Even if he hurts me sometimes. I don’t just want to… disappear, you know?”

Madeline’s gut clenched. She rubbed her upper arm, over an old scar from a cigarette burn. It had been over 12 years since she last saw her birth parents. She couldn’t help but wonder what they’d been up to.

She cleared her throat. This conversation was getting a little too real for her. “Should we move on? I’ve still gotta go over some housekeeping stuff with you.”

Jordyn nodded. “Let’s do it.”

—

I sighed, staring across the kitchen longingly at the piece of toast Brianna was eating while I sipped my soup up through a straw. It had barely even been a week and I already couldn’t stand this liquid-only diet. It didn’t help that I was starved for two days before I could even start it. According to the medical team, I’d be allowed some softer foods in the coming weeks, but I wouldn’t be back to my normal diet for at least six. Hopefully, chilli and rice counted as a softer food. I was just lucky the break wasn’t bad enough that my jaw had to be surgically wired shut. Then I’d be screwed for months. 

Living at the Union was… weird, for lack of a better word. I thought it wouldn’t be any different from back at the facility, but clearly I was mistaken. I had to source my own food, for one. No one was cooking meals like back home. I asked Brianna, and she said that she mostly lived off of takeaway, and whatever ‘instant noodles’ were. That didn’t really seem sufficient to me. Father had provided me with a bunch of pre-packaged broths and soups for the duration of my recovery, but once that was over, I wasn’t really sure what I was gonna do.

At least the beds were comfortable. The sleep I’d had after Madeline had finished briefing me was the best sleep of my entire life. It was like lying on a cloud. The privacy was nice, too; knowing there was never any chance that Father could walk into my room without warning.

I was mostly passing the time reading, or drawing, or talking to Brianna, or trying out that ‘painting’ thing Vivienne had shown me. I wasn’t quite as good at it as I was with drawing yet, but I was confident I could get there with some practice. It was really relaxing, and it felt good when an idea started to actually form into a finished product. It would be nice to get to work out as well, but I still wasn’t cleared for strenuous activity yet. Thanks again, Mr. Beaumond…

Someone just entered the conference room. No, a group of people. Vivienne, Madeline, Ashley, and… someone else who I couldn’t identify with just my shadows.

Inspired by the way Brianna used her smoke powers, for the past week I’d been laying down a very thin cloud of shadows, spread out around all the main parts of the Union HQ. Anytime someone moved through it, the cloud sent a ripple all the way back to me, and I’d be able to tell where everyone was and roughly what they were doing. It took a bit of concentration to use, but with all of this free time, I was quickly getting the hang of it. It was just… a little overwhelming, being in this unfamiliar new environment, and having an eye on everything helped me feel more secure.

I got up, wandering over to the conference room to see what was going on. It must have been something important if Ashley, Madeline, and Vivienne were all there.

“So, the plan is to get you set up in one of our rooms for now. We might need to make some modifications to accommodate for your injuries, but it shouldn’t take longer than a few hours to do that,” came Madeline’s voice, echoing down the hall as I approached.

“Until then, you and I can go and grab lunch or something,” Vivienne said. “After you’ve put your stuff away, of course.”

“Thank you both,” said a familiar, husky voice. I froze right at the corner of the entrance, my heart pounding in my chest. “Seriously, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Well, if it wasn’t for what you did, we’d still be pretty much completely in the dark about this whole situation,” Ashley said. “This is the least we can do to pay you back.”

“How… is that whole situation going, by the way?” the newcomer asked. “Vivienne’s been keeping me mostly in the loop, but I heard-”

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that out in the open,” Madeline interrupted. 

My whole body flushed with adrenaline; sweat pricking at the back of my neck. I wanted to throw up. There was no way I could mistake that voice, not after all of the sleepless nights I spent hearing him scream in my memories.

Steve Matthews was at the Union.

“Right, sorry,” he said. “So, can I check out my room?”

“Sure thing, uncle,” Vivienne chirped.

They were coming this way. In a few seconds, Steve and Vivienne would be rounding that corner, and I’d come face-to-face with him again for the first time since that night. What was I supposed to do? What could I possibly say to him after what I did?

I turned and ran back to my room as fast as I could.

—

Brianna gently ran her fingers along my belly, tracing the indented scar Father gave me after I lost the sniper team all those months ago. My body buzzed with the remnants of our previous activities; relaxation and fatigue clawing at me and dragging me into a restful nap with Brianna at my back.

I’d finally been cleared for strenuous activity again, which meant exercise and patrols and reporting to Father, but it also meant getting to work off my anxieties with Brianna. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been waiting for this. My jaw still hurt, so we couldn’t really kiss as much as I wanted to or try any of that other stuff with my mouth, but it was okay. Brianna could easily make up for it, and she said that my hands were more than sufficient. Honestly, I was mostly here just for this; being held, feeling her warm, soft body pressing against my back. It didn’t make the ache from my whip scars go away entirely, but it was much easier to ignore them with her arms surrounding me. It was easier to forget about everything eating away at the back of my mind.

My half-lidded eyes caught on something, breaking the monotony of the brown bed sheets we were lying on. A single red hair, resting peacefully on the pillow. There was only one person I knew in the Union with hair that colour. Come to think of it, Brianna had mentioned that she did stuff like this with Vivienne too, didn’t she? Imagining that made my lower abdomen tingle. I wanted to do this stuff with Vivienne, too. If only I didn’t have this stupid rule about not showing my face. Maybe I could ask Vivienne to wear a blindfold?

It was a funny idea, but not one I was ever going to follow up on. The only reason this happened was because Brianna initiated it. I was still far too nervous around Vivienne to make the first move.

Inevitably, thinking about Vivienne led to thinking about her uncle. Steve had now been living at the Union for a full week, and I’d been doing my utmost to avoid ever running into him. My cloud of shadows made it easy to keep track of where he was, but it didn’t stop him from spending time in the places I wanted to be, forcing me to hide away in my room, bored out of my mind.

I really shouldn’t blame him; it wasn’t his fault I was too afraid to go anywhere near him. On the contrary, it was entirely my fault. It was my fault he was wheelchair-bound, attending painful physical therapy appointments almost daily. It was my fault he needed help to get into bed, and onto the toilet, and with making food. It was my fault he woke up nearly every night, gasping and sweating from nightmares. It was my fault his life and body were irreparably broken, and I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I could barely even look Vivienne in the eye anymore; not after I overheard her explain all of that to Brianna, voice tired and heartbroken.

“Hey,” Brianna said, squeezing me tighter for a second. “What’s wrong?”

I blinked, and realised I was crying. I hurriedly wiped the tears away, sniffling. “N-nothing.”

Brianna softly kissed the back of my head. “Come on, you can tell me. I promise I’ll keep it a secret.”

As much as my immediate instinct was to deny, deny, deny, my helmet was in the corner right now, facing the wall. If I whispered, I could tell Brianna anything I wanted, and Father would never find out. Obviously, I couldn’t just… tell her what happened between Steve and me, but maybe I could… dance around it a little. Present a vague, similar situation to my own, and see if maybe she could give me any advice. If things kept going the way they were, I was either going to lose my friends or lose my mind; I needed some help.

I took a deep breath, trying to formulate my thoughts in a way that wouldn’t reveal too much. “What would you do if… if you were forced to do something against your will that really really hurt someone you care about, but they didn’t know about it? Like… they didn’t know it was you that did it. But the guilt is still eating you up even months afterward?”

A long silence passed, and my anxiety steadily grew until Brianna replied. “Damn, that’s a tough one,” she said. “I… well, I think an important thing to consider is the fact that, if you were forced, it isn’t your fault, even if it really feels like it is.”

“Yeah, but… I could’ve chosen not to…” I muttered.

“That kinda defeats the purpose of ‘forced,’ don’t you think? If someone told me that they would kill my family unless I did a bunch of horrible shit, it would be really fucking hard for me to say no to that, you get me?”

“I guess…”

“Either way, I think you should fess up and apologise to the person if you ever get the opportunity. I know it’s probably pretty scary to think about, but don’t you think that person deserves – if not amendments – at least an apology? Who knows, maybe they’ll understand and forgive you. And even if they don’t, at least you’ll have finally gotten it off your chest.”

I hummed, trying to take her words to heart. She was probably right, but even thinking about finding Steve and apologising right now made me want to curl into a ball and disappear.

Brianna sensed my discomfort. She wrapped herself around me even tighter. “You don’t have to do anything right now, Jean Shorts. You can just stay here with me tonight.”

I let out a breath, letting that comforting idea wash over me as I turned and buried my face against her warm skin.

Wait… what?

“Jean shorts?” I questioned.

“You know. Jordyn. Jordy. Jords. Jorts. Jean Shorts. It’s a nickname.”

If Brianna could see, I would have been staring at her in confused disbelief. As it was, I just chuckled and closed my eyes.

Jean Shorts.

She was so silly.

—

I found him in a common room, late at night when there was no risk of anyone else intruding. My armour and helmet were still back in my dorm, stuffed into the corner with the lights off so that Father wouldn’t see me leave, assuming I was sleeping. My shadows covered the light from the hallway when I opened the door, and from there I wrapped a mask of darkness around my face and crept through the corridors. I was dressed in nothing but my sleepwear; a tanktop and briefs. It was as vulnerable as I could possibly make myself without stripping entirely. I wanted this interaction to be on as even ground as possible, and I couldn’t do that if I was still in that horrible black cage, with Father listening to every word I said.

Steve had his wheelchair rolled up against the wall, watching a movie on the TV. He looked calm. Relaxed. I didn’t want to ruin it. My gut screamed at me to just turn and go back to bed. I grit my teeth, trying to resist. This needed to happen, whether either of us wanted it or not.

I cleared my throat, stepping out of the shadows in the hallway. Steve looked up, his brows furrowing when he saw my exposed form.

“Is… Is that you, Jordyn?”

Part of me expected him to still sound the way he did that night; raspy and weak. Instead, his voice was as strong and clear as it had ever been.

I nodded, the shadows around my head bobbing along with me. “Y-yeah.”

His brow unfurrowed, but his face remained unparseable and blank. “I heard you were staying here too. Though, you’re so elusive I was starting to think I imagined Vivienne telling me.”

I swallowed nervously. “You were… looking for me?”

He shrugged. “Well, I haven’t seen you since I was hospitalised. I wanted to see how you were.”

I ignored the implied question in his words, letting the silence between us fester. My feelings didn’t matter. I just needed to rip the bandaid off. “Listen, detective. It… I… I don’t really know how to say this, but…”

“I know it was you,” he calmly said, interrupting me. “It’s pretty hard to mistake that voice when you’ve got your helmet on.”

It took me a second to process his words, but when they finally hit, my stomach dropped. “What? Y-you… you knew the whole time?”

He nodded. “Don’t worry. I didn’t tell anyone. As far as Vivienne and the Union know, I was attacked by one of de Vygon’s agents.”

That made no sense. I could barely wrap my head around the concept. “I… why?” 

“I don’t know. I guess, I didn’t want to alienate you further from everyone else. What happened wasn’t your fault. It was de Vygon’s. It’s not like you did all that out of your own desire to hurt me.” He looked away, staring back at the TV screen.

“But… But, I crippled you! B-because of me, you’ll never walk straight again!”

“Because of de Vygon,” Steve corrected, though there was pain in his eyes at my words. “You don’t blame the gun for shooting someone; you blame the person who pulled the trigger.”

“I-!” I paused, absorbing his meaning. Something in the core of my being shivered; an uncomfortable idea starting to form in the bottom of my mind. “I… I’m not a gun, though. I’m a person. I’m his daughter.”

Steve sighed, glancing back over with his eyes pinching at the edges. The pity in his gaze made me want to throw up. “As far as he’s concerned, you might as well be. The way he treats you; it’s not how any parent should treat their kid. He uses you as a weapon, pointing you at his enemies and pulling the trigger.”

A gun. A weapon. Just some… thing to bolster his police force and do his bidding. Was that really how Father saw me? No, it couldn’t be.

I looked down. “I… I know he doesn’t treat me right. I know that I have… so much less freedom than everyone else. But, he’s still my father, and I owe him my life. Nothing will change that. Regardless of who gave the order, it was still me that hurt you. I could have decided not to, but I did it anyway, because he asked. B-because… I can choose. You can’t say it wasn’t my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Steve insisted.

“But-!”

“What would he have done to you if you hadn’t complied?” he asked. “No one else is listening. You aren’t wearing your helmet. You can tell me.”

…He was right. I could tell him. I could finally get the crushing fear of Father’s exact retribution off of my chest, and there was no way it could get back to him. But was that a good idea? I didn’t know.

But I’d come too far to stop now.

I took a deep breath, centering myself. “Th-there’s this… thing he does. I don’t know how he does it, but when he’s mad, he can make it so that it feels like my whole body is on fire, a-and I can’t move. B-but that’s usually for small things. If I refused to do what… what I did, I’d probably be banned from eating, and have to spend a few days in the penalisation room. He, um… He chains me up against the wall in uncomfortable positions, a-and then leaves me there for hours. O-or, he could beat me, or cut me. I- I know now that it isn’t normal, o-or good, but it’s just… how we are. It’s how we work. When I disobey him, Father hurts me. That’s just the way it is. If I really didn’t want to do it, I could’ve said so, and dealt with the consequences. I’ve been through them before.”

The anguished look on Steve’s face was like a knife in the gut. It wasn’t that bad, was it?

He rubbed his face, looking away. “Shit, kid. I’m so sorry.”

I sighed, trying not to think about that too much. “See? It’s my fault.”

He chuckled humourlessly, squeezing his eyes shut. “Jordyn. You were coerced into it under threat of fucking torture. There is no conceivable way it was your fault and not his. You wouldn’t have even thought about doing it if he hadn’t ordered you to in the first place. And it’s clear it’s been eating you up ever since. I don’t know what I can say to convince you that it wasn’t your fault, but clearly you came to me looking for something. What? Forgiveness? Absolution? You can have it! I know… I know the hurt isn’t gonna go away just like that, but I don’t blame you for what happened. I never did. It wasn’t your fault. You were just… a scared, abused little girl doing whatever she could to avoid getting hurt again. You’re still doing it. Because, if you think that it wasn’t your fault, then it’s his fault, and that’s a dangerous train of thought for you. So you’re taking the blame as much as possible to protect yourself from retribution.”

It felt like I could barely breathe. My cheeks were wet. “I… I don’t…” I trailed off. I didn’t know what to say.

Steve pursed his lips, looking at me like he could see right through the shadows and to the heart of my being. He sighed. “Let’s just… forget about everything, just for tonight. There’s no reason to hash it all out right now. Come on, sit down. We can watch this movie together.” He forced a shaky smile. “It’s good, I promise.”

I blankly nodded, stumbling over to the couch and pulling a blanket over my exposed form. It was weird to be out here without anything on.

He was right, though. Everything he said made too much sense. I just… didn’t know what to do with it all, crushing me from the inside until my lungs collapsed. But, in the meantime, the movie was pretty good. Distraction would have to do for now.

Taglist: @steelandblood @sapphicwhump @urnumber1star @alsolucakairomi @thataquaticwhumper

@iamheretohurt @anoyedartist @dontyoubleedoutonme @seastarblue @lettherebepain

@bacillusinfection

For a second I thought i'd actually written Maddie POV where she doesn't mention Rosie even once but then I remembered how Rosie is implied in the line 'it was the second-best decision i ever made' (the first-best being proposing to Rosie lol) She really never leaves Maddie's mind even for a second.

Hope y'all enjoyed! let me know what you thought in a comment or reblog! see y'all next time for one I'm very excited for ;)

Seriously I've been planning this next chapter for fucking months. be there or be square

[aaronhotchswife]

By the dimed lights

Aaron Hotcher x Female Reader

Hi guys ! I'm sorry for the long waiting for this fic. I had (and still have) to deal with a lot of stressing things. I don't feel really well mentally lately but I'll try to get better. I hope you enjoy this little fic. I'm apologizing in advance if it's not the best fic I've ever written, I can't do better than that these days 💓

Summary : when you can't sleep because of a case, you go for a midnight swim where you find Aaron.

Warnings : unprotected pool sex, mentions of classic cm stuff, not really a elaborated plot, public sex

With no new leads and clues, Hotch has decided to let the team go back to the hotel earlier than usual to catch some sleep. You've been in bed since 10 pm, trying to get most of the sleep you could get. This case was exhausting and it wasn't ready to end. Tossing and turning, counting the sheeps, nothing could put you to sleep. All you could think about was the case and how it didn't make any sense. You look at your phone, seeing 00:00 am and decided to read a book that you brought with you, hoping that it would put you so sleep. You mind was running 100 mph and even reading couldn't help. But the hotel had a pool and maybe swimming and doing some exercises will drive you to sleep. So you put your swimsuit and walked to the pool where you start doing laps.

"Couldn't sleep either ?" a voice ask in the back.

Getting your head out of the water, you turned around to see your boss in his swim trunks with a towel in his hands. The dark lightning of the pool is enough for you to see his dark blue shorts but not enough for him to see your cheeks getting red.

"Hotch!" you responded suprised, covering the left naked skin of your breast with your arms. "I couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind. What are you doing here ?"

He sat on the edge of the pool, while you swam to him, positioning your arms next to his legs.

"Same thing."

"Something's wrong with the profil." you said, your eyes rising to look at him.

"I know." he sighed, looking down at you. He looked done and exhausted.

Using the walls of the pool, you pushed yourself towards the water to swim away from him before speaking again.

"It's impossible that the unsub dismember his victims in a city and drive across the country to kill again. He can't possibly do that alone...Hotch, what if there's 2 unsubs ?"

Aaron left his place on the edge and swam in your direction, agreeing with what you just said.

"It could be possible. It's the only thing that makes sense honestly...I mean he can't possibly kill someone here, and then be miles away in just a day."

"We should check that more seriously tomorrow." you let out.

"We should."

He's so close to you now, the features of his face softly illuminated by the dimed lights. While he's looking away, you dared looking at him, at his eyes, his cheeks, the way his nose is made. You let yourself check out his lips and the way his shoulders are slowly rising up and down from his calm breathing. As if he knew you were watching him, Aaron gaze turned to meet yours, a small smile on his lips.

He settle in front of you, making your back touch the wall of the pool, his hand reaching a stray of your hair to replace them behind your ear. You follow his fingers, your eyes reaching his once again.

"You look so hot soaking wet." he murmured in your ear. His fingers grazed your cheek to your neck making your eyes closed and your head fall back. His fingers traced their way to your neck, your breast, while his mouth found your jaw, leaving little kisses before your lips meet. It's the most breathtaking kiss you ever had and in that moment, nothing is important. You can feel the need and desperation as you both move your lips together.

A moan involuntary leaves your mouth, the sweet sound making Aaron's body shift. You feel his body tensed, the kiss growing stronger and his hands tucking your face harder. Your hands reach for his swim shorts, so eagerly as if your body's been possessed and by the way Aaron's lips move on yours, you don't have to think about what possessed you. His lips leave yours the moment your hand starts massaging his cock, his head falls back while he murmured a small "fuck".

His hands reach for the top of your swimsuit, slowly pulling on the cords to make it fall in the water. His fingers grazed your nipples, tugging gently on them, making you press your body on him.

"Good girl." he murmured, his lips finding a spot under your ear.

"Please sir, please fuck me." you begged, your mind still running 100 mph but for a different reason now.

"Anything my good girl desires." he praises, and with that, his fingers found the bottom of your swimsuit, pushing then on the side before one of his fingers found it way to your folds. You groaned, taking his jaw in your hand to press your lips on his again.

When he thinks that your slicked enough, you can feel his tip between your folds. He's pushing it slowly, letting you get used to his dick.

"If you knew how many times I thought of me inside of you like that. So tight for me, sweet girl."

If fucking your hot boss in a hotel pool was hot enough to make your stomach flutters, him saying things like that was something else. With each thrust, a moan was escaping your mouth. Aaron's hand made his way to your mouth, his lips murmuring.

"I’m fucking you so good that you have to keep quiet or you'll wake up the hotel. Wouldn't want the team to know that your boss is fucking you ?"

With that sentence, your pussy clenched,

"Or maybe that's what turns you on, being seen."

Another moan.

"Such a dirty girl."

"Fuck Aaron. Please."

"Please what, sweetheart ?"

"Please, let me come."

One of his hand found your clit, rubbing little circles on it. You can feel the knot in your stomach growing stronger, and Aaron must have felt it because he started leaving little kiss from your neck to your cheeks, to your forehead.

"Let it go. Come for me baby."

[stuffing-seattle]

I've been skinny and self concious about my own weight forever, but I always have this underlying desire to let go a little, just see what it's like to indulge. Doing it for someone would make things easier and being fed/encouraged would also make things easier I feel. Tell me, if I had told you about this and later down the track we went to an all you can eat buffet, would you give me a taste of what it's like? and how would it go, owo ~?? how would you make my itty-bitties pale in comparison to my midriff? tell me everything, would degrade me/embarass me in public??

Sorry it took me so long to answer this one. I wanted to give this ask the attention it deserved. So, let’s start from the beginning shall we? Buffet dates are one of my hottest fantasies, so unfortunately for your tiny little belly, there would be no holding back. First we would have to agree on two safe words. For the purpose of this story let’s say they are “salad” and “exercise”, two concepts that would never cross the mind of a soon-to-be fatty like you. We need two because the first means “Please my tummy hurts and I need to stop.” The second means, “If I have one more bite, all of that delicious food is going to end up back on this table.” See the thing to know about skinny Feedees, is that you can always go past where you think your limit is. Your untrained little belly just doesn’t know what that feeling is. Before the date, I would have you buy a blouse that was one size too small for you. Then I would sit you down at the table, and bring you plate after plate of hearty food. A thin little thing like you would probably only be able to get through 3 plates with the right encouragement. At the end of plate one your breathing is labored. At the end of plate two your rounded tum is straining by at the buttons of your top and desperately trying to claw its way out. You obediently finish the third plate, but you slump back in your booth, with a distended tummy you didn’t think you were capable of. Through labored breaths, you manage to spit out the word “salad”. Your blouse buttons are holding on as hard as they can at this point, and the taut flesh of your belly seeps through at every available hole, begging to be free. I’m proud of you for what you have gotten through, but I know you can have more. This time, I don’t return with food, but instead, three cups of soda. I sit in the booth next to you, and use one hand to slowly massage your aching belly. I can hear it groan and gurgle and protest from where I’m sitting. When i touch it I can feel it quiver and shudder through the fabric as it wrestles with its banquet. I take the first cup of soda and hold it to your lips. You drink like the good pig you are, and slowly, very slowly, all the liquid enters your angry belly. As soon as you finish the first, I raise the second. You gulp it down again. Same with the third. As soon as the final drop sloshes into you tummy, a glazed look comes over your eyes. All the carbonated liquid was too much for your blouse, and finally, all the buttons snap free allowing you exposed belly to lurch forward with and audible slosh. The violent movement is instantly followed quickly by a look of panic in your eyes. Before you can raise your hands to cover your mouth, you let out a tremendous *BEEEEELLLLLCCCCHHHH* that leaves you winded and panting, and all the other customers in a ten foot radius looking at you in surprise. I’m sure none of them thought a pig of your size could make such a sound. You are beyond caring though, as you fight the the urge to fall asleep as you also fight the food to keep it where it belongs. “Exer-*orp*-ah, ex-*bep*-oh fuck. Exercise.” You manage to stammer out between burp attacks, almost as if your body is fighting you not to say it. Now we are done, and I have to put one of your arms around my shoulders to hoist you up and help you to the car as your other arm cradles your distended belly that sloshes and roars with every step. Everyone in the restaurant is looking at us- no- at you, and your grossly distended belly in awe and shock.

Hope that scratched the itch you were looking for and was worth the wait. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to masturbate and cum like a fire truck. Jump in my DMs if you’d like to help 😘😘

[origami10]

Okay, so my ocs come from beanie babies I wrote a story about in third grade and then a creative writing exercise I got for homework in sixth grade and invented a bunch more characters for.

There's six main ones (we'll get there) and if there's one thing I know about having a list of six things, it's that I can only remember five of them simultaneously.

Scorch is the beanie baby and the one who most needs a name change because while they're all dragons in my heart, technically I'm writing them as human*. Scorch's color is brown. His story has probably had the most direct impact on my life because he lives in the mountains in a logging/metalworking town (the metal comes from the trees, thanks Crown Duel) and I've put way too much personal interest into experiencing cable cars to reach high mountainous areas. His dad died in an accident [[or was it?? Actually idk?????]] and he feels extremely personally responsible for defending his family and town (primarily the gang of children he took over after *ahem* pushing a bully over a waterfall)

(*Oh, actually I guess all of them technically do have a form because I got commissions for four and did the last two myself)

Char, alias Westric Andric (thanks again Crown Duel and also the neighbor I had a crush on) (jk because it's the generic root for 'man') is prince of a newly seceded kingdom. His family lives under the non-magical curse of their blood producing gold (the same gold that's in the trees mentioned above). This was a more widespread condition but poachers gradually hunted down the people it afflicted, for their own monetary gain. Char's parents were wealthy/powerful enough to survive to adulthood and were chosen as King & Queen (they were already together) and Char is their offspring with double the gold (curse), so he's just as sheltered as his parents. Char's color is gold. The unfortunate consequence of asking my dad for clever character names for dragons.

Flem's color is orange. Based on a word that friends and I invented at a birthday party while playing that one make-up-a-word-game so Fleminarchy means a hot Irish guy with red hair. Flem's deal is that he's perfect at everything (yes-magical curse despite magic not existing in this universe) except for when his beloved (Fennet, creeper goth girl) is nearby. He finds joy in failure because it means his favorite person is near. He's particularly good at a rhythm-art game that I've half-invented and partially the reason I'm invested in rhythm/dance games. The most self-insert & gary sue of my characters, probably. Oh, I also drew his house once which fueled a small obsession with visiting places where the houses have orange roof tiles. He also has an angsty character song but I also forget the name (something about my parents never listen to me)

Jecui Calchie. The only one with a last name because my mind was wandering during church and it's an anagram of juice chalice. Nominally French even though France doesn't exist in this world. Foreigner. Religious terrorist because a cult wanted to recruit him and killed his whole family except him in a car accident** and then brainwashed him to go be a (kamikaze?) assassin but he's not very good at it but as long as SOMEONE gets it done they're not particularly concerned about his personal safety. They just have to keep him from exposing the rest of the assassins he wasn't informed about. Poor guy. I definitely torture him the most for no reason. My angst baby. But like... is that not the main takeaway from Christianity .n. Jecui's color is wine red.

**wait they have cars? My mind really hasn't settled into how much technology this world has and where. It could be possible. Actually yes since the other continent's supposed to be post-green-energy-revolution.

Shea: based on a real-life asshat I interacted with for a week on a trip. (Just the aura though, no personal details). The most villain of the story, but mostly it's not about him. Kind of like Todoroki if I read that whole story (possibly more like Dabi, not sure.) Power hungry, not afraid to be mean to people. His color is pink because it is and no one's shaming HIM into saying something stupid like pink's not for boys. (Partly based off of someone's name I saw at a bowling alley, and I subsequently learned about Shea butter)

Westric (for real this time): His color is black. Heir to a merchant shipping (boat) company. (I feel like that came from Green Rider even though that was relatively recently.) Shea's cousin, approximately the same age (within a few months) but Shea's always been the ringleader and Westric's the lackey. Actually also based on a real-life person who was on the trip with Shea, and I saw him again recently and he's changed COMPLETELY lol... may have been long enough ago that it influenced my commission but I think actually irl he was just weirdly close to my imagination in a way. Again no personal details, just vibe borrowed really (and Westric doesn't have much personality of his own anyway). His deal is that he's actually very perceptive and understands way more of the entire situation than anyone else, but doesn't believe his understanding is useful or relevant and never mentions it.

That's the main six. The main divisions are Scorch&Flem (traveled together), Shea&Westric (cousins), and Jecui&Char(weird loner outsiders), but later it will switch to Scorch/Westric/Flem and Shea/Char/Jecui (I think...)

The other two main characters are sisters and princesses Magec and Coura.

Magec (poorly disguised rendition of Magic) is theoretically our main character but also doesn't... do a whole lot lol. Plot device struggling to become her own person. Second princess and current heir. Didn't ever want to rule but conversely feels pressured to learn and know as much as possible about the kingdom for her people's sake (and her own, given the responsibility held over her head and tucked away to preserve her sanity). Particularly interested in the history of her kingdom (which I haven't exactly figured out how old it is. Not TOO old... decades or maybe centuries). Magic's color is white.

Coura: Did I somehow miss giving Coura a color??? The latest addition to the characters, doomed from the beginning, inspired during orchestra rehearsal of Pelleas et Melisandre. The oldest of the two princesses. Was full of life and energy until her teens, now has a terminal condition. Char's presence (the gold in his blood) seems to help. She's not happy about her situation and isn't afraid to say it. Coura and Char were also inspired by Fire... (omg I just forgot the name of the song...) by Flyleaf. Her name comes from a mashup of letters I like/courage/cour meaning heart.